Dave Evans

You gave it the old college try, and it didn't work out.

You know, God's right next to you saying, shoot, George, I wish it had worked too.

You didn't do anything wrong, but you're making up a story about the way things deserve to be, which is not how they are.

So radical acceptance precedes any real meaning making.

I'm really glad you asked the question.

It comes up all the time, and it's a crucial question, and it's one that some people really, really struggle with, particularly around, you know, moral issues or social issues.

In fact, I'll give a very real example.

A lovely young woman that I've been mentoring for over 20 years, she's my chosen daughter, you know, found herself once again working for a ridiculously horrible boss.

I mean, this is a bona fide bad boss.

I said, you've got to accept that this guy is a raging, nasty person, and it's not going to get any better.

She goes, but I can't accept that.

That means I'm going to be oppressed forever.

And I said, wait, wait, wait.

You can't be effective unless you can accept this.

You've got to accept that nothing you're going to do is going to change his mind.

Nothing you're going to do is going to make him happy.

He's always going to be unhappy.

He's always going to treat you badly.

But what you can do is you can minimize the damage.

What you can do is you can get the heck out of there eventually, which you did.