Dr. Alison Wood Brooks

Instead of proliferating on this, I don't want to talk about this or arguing.

No, no, just shift.

Like, hey, what TV show are you watching?

I've been watching this really cool TV show.

Can I tell you about it?

Exactly.

Yeah, so we talk about this wheel of feelings.

I've done so much research on these high arousal negative emotions, whether it's anxiety or anger or just being upset.

There are lots of emotion regulation strategies that you can use during a conversation as well.

You can try and just shift, reframe the situation, change the situation.

Yeah.

A therapist will often talk about getting into this sort of like green zone and it can take like 20 minutes for your body to calm down.

Once someone is upset, it's almost like too late.

It's very hard to engage once someone is angry or overheated.

Yeah.

Because they're just saying like, let's just take a time out.

Let's calm down a little bit.

Let's circle back to this in a little bit when we're both okay.

Let's take a break.

And that's exactly right.