Dr. Becky Kennedy

It's really interesting. As a parent or coach, you might be frustrated and be like, what the heck? I know this kid can make a simple layup. There is nobody even guarding them and they are missing layups. They're not even putting them up against the backboard. We might be frustrated. But if we heard ourselves or a coach say, look, I am going to have to take away your TV time.

Why would that help now the next time they take a layup? just going to feel like a shitty basketball player, they're probably going to be less likely to make the layup. It's just that we've been doing this to kids for so long that we call it discipline, but it actually makes no sense. This is the biggest thing we challenge at Good Inside. It doesn't make sense.

Why would that help now the next time they take a layup? just going to feel like a shitty basketball player, they're probably going to be less likely to make the layup. It's just that we've been doing this to kids for so long that we call it discipline, but it actually makes no sense. This is the biggest thing we challenge at Good Inside. It doesn't make sense.

Why would that help now the next time they take a layup? just going to feel like a shitty basketball player, they're probably going to be less likely to make the layup. It's just that we've been doing this to kids for so long that we call it discipline, but it actually makes no sense. This is the biggest thing we challenge at Good Inside. It doesn't make sense.

It's not how we even treat professional athletes anymore. We've modernized there. It's just kids are the last area to modernize because they're not a group of people who are able to speak up and say, this doesn't make sense and this makes us feel like shit. So I think a different framework. Okay, so my kid keeps hitting someone with a Nerf gun. And what you said was so insightful.

It's not how we even treat professional athletes anymore. We've modernized there. It's just kids are the last area to modernize because they're not a group of people who are able to speak up and say, this doesn't make sense and this makes us feel like shit. So I think a different framework. Okay, so my kid keeps hitting someone with a Nerf gun. And what you said was so insightful.

It's not how we even treat professional athletes anymore. We've modernized there. It's just kids are the last area to modernize because they're not a group of people who are able to speak up and say, this doesn't make sense and this makes us feel like shit. So I think a different framework. Okay, so my kid keeps hitting someone with a Nerf gun. And what you said was so insightful.

My kid, maybe they just don't even have the impulse control to have something as awesome as a Nerf gun. Yeah, that's what it is. Right? And not shoot it at someone. If every time I threw food from my plate, it stuck on the ceiling. And you're like, Becky, don't do that again. I'd be like, I feel like I've just got to see if that keeps happening. I'm newer to the world. And if I did it...

My kid, maybe they just don't even have the impulse control to have something as awesome as a Nerf gun. Yeah, that's what it is. Right? And not shoot it at someone. If every time I threw food from my plate, it stuck on the ceiling. And you're like, Becky, don't do that again. I'd be like, I feel like I've just got to see if that keeps happening. I'm newer to the world. And if I did it...

My kid, maybe they just don't even have the impulse control to have something as awesome as a Nerf gun. Yeah, that's what it is. Right? And not shoot it at someone. If every time I threw food from my plate, it stuck on the ceiling. And you're like, Becky, don't do that again. I'd be like, I feel like I've just got to see if that keeps happening. I'm newer to the world. And if I did it...

And someone's like, you don't respect Jordan. I'd be like, no offense. This is not anything to do with my respect for Jordan. I just found this phenomenon pretty fascinating and I wanted to see if it would happen again. This to me, and I want to make this usable for you and our listeners here, I call this your MGI. When our kids act out, we all have an LGI, least generous interpretation.

And someone's like, you don't respect Jordan. I'd be like, no offense. This is not anything to do with my respect for Jordan. I just found this phenomenon pretty fascinating and I wanted to see if it would happen again. This to me, and I want to make this usable for you and our listeners here, I call this your MGI. When our kids act out, we all have an LGI, least generous interpretation.

And someone's like, you don't respect Jordan. I'd be like, no offense. This is not anything to do with my respect for Jordan. I just found this phenomenon pretty fascinating and I wanted to see if it would happen again. This to me, and I want to make this usable for you and our listeners here, I call this your MGI. When our kids act out, we all have an LGI, least generous interpretation.

We all do. My kid doesn't respect me. My kid's a sociopath. My kid has no empathy. And then we intervene from that interpretation. A massively helpful thing in any part of life, and you can't use it in the moment until you've really practiced it out of the moment. A kid has this Nerf gun. I said, don't point it at your sister. They pointed at your sister. I agree. Bad behavior.

We all do. My kid doesn't respect me. My kid's a sociopath. My kid has no empathy. And then we intervene from that interpretation. A massively helpful thing in any part of life, and you can't use it in the moment until you've really practiced it out of the moment. A kid has this Nerf gun. I said, don't point it at your sister. They pointed at your sister. I agree. Bad behavior.

We all do. My kid doesn't respect me. My kid's a sociopath. My kid has no empathy. And then we intervene from that interpretation. A massively helpful thing in any part of life, and you can't use it in the moment until you've really practiced it out of the moment. A kid has this Nerf gun. I said, don't point it at your sister. They pointed at your sister. I agree. Bad behavior.

What is my most generous interpretation? If you really force yourself to answer that, you do something powerful. You separate identity from behavior. Okay, you probably say some version of, I have a good kid who's unable to control themselves with a Nerf gun, and every sibling has some anger toward another sibling, and this seemed like an opportune moment to take that out.

What is my most generous interpretation? If you really force yourself to answer that, you do something powerful. You separate identity from behavior. Okay, you probably say some version of, I have a good kid who's unable to control themselves with a Nerf gun, and every sibling has some anger toward another sibling, and this seemed like an opportune moment to take that out.

What is my most generous interpretation? If you really force yourself to answer that, you do something powerful. You separate identity from behavior. Okay, you probably say some version of, I have a good kid who's unable to control themselves with a Nerf gun, and every sibling has some anger toward another sibling, and this seemed like an opportune moment to take that out.

It just all was a perfect storm. And so... What should I do? This actually goes back to our job. I think a lot of times we get into situations where we're punishing and, quote, disciplining, even though I don't think that's the right word, our kid. Because again, we're not really doing our job as parents, right? Where we're not setting a limit.