Dr. Melanie Hayes
speaker
704 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2019
last heard Feb 2022
Dr. Melanie Hayes’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I don't want them to change themselves to match anybody else's expectations.
And and I'm not saying that they don't need to learn how to code switch and that we all have to be a certain way in certain environments, but as I've gotten older and given myself permission to just be my weird wacky self.
I feel like I'm sort of giving that permission to everybody else too.
So if there's really weird wacky kids at my school, I'm like, great, be your, be your authentic self.
Yeah, I mean for a long time.
Like I can remember putting on a suit jacket and, you know, dress pants and dress shoes and going out to speak publicly and my whole body just felt like this itchy mass of ants crawling on it because the pants were uncomfortable and the waistband was too tight and there was a tag in the shirt and my shoes, my feet hurt.
And you know, I'm worried about makeup and so my my eyes are stinging because I have no tolerance.
for makeup.
And I I'm just miserable and I'm up there trying to present my best self and I'm castigating myself like, why, why am I not normal?
In fact, I remember I wrote a poem in sort of my journaling about um
like all these beautiful things in the way people look and their hair and makeup and clothing and and it's not me.
Like I I cannot put on these like right now I'm wearing a a sweater and a pair of cargo pants, you know.
And that's I I now when I go to public speak, even though I have to put on this persona of I'm the founder and executive director of Big Minds, I work as a therapist at Summit Center, like I do have to put on a certain
professional persona, but I give myself permission to just be my weird self.
And if I have to wear comfortable loose clothes and no makeup and, you know, I'm gonna come across as a very homely kind of person, that's okay.
But for a long time it wasn't okay.
I I really felt like I had to be that professional mask, that professional persona.
And and it took its toll on me.
Like I have
lasting health problems because of it.
Showing 141–160 of 704 · page 8 of 36
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