TPP 282: Dr. Melanie Hayes on Living Your Best Life for Twice Exceptional Adults
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
39 min
2 speakers
8 chapters
transcribed 6 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What societal pressures affect twice‑exceptional children and how can parents recognize them?
There's a societal pressure to make your child conform so that they can fit in, they can have friends, they can be successful at school. And so all of us are the most well-meaning parents in the world put that pressure on our kids early on, and we don't even realize we're doing it because we're not fully aware ourselves of what those societal pressures are. And a lot of times it takes your kid to just stop functioning. or to be a major behavior problem or, you know, have deep depression or something like that before we go, hey, wait a minute. What is the quality of our child's life right now and what can we do to make it different?
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Rieber. This week I'm bringing back to the podcast educator and therapist Dr. Melanie Hayes. Melanie focuses on helping neurodivergent, gifted, and twice-exceptional people find their niche and work to their strengths. With a master's in gifted ed and marriage and family therapy, as well as a doctorate in educational leadership with a focus on twice exceptionality, Melanie has spent the past decade building support and understanding for the 2E and 2EA population. She's the author of two books on twice exceptionality, We Tried Normal, and her brand new book, Being Twice Exceptional.
Melanie is also the founder of the Big Minds Micro School, and in fact, Melanie joined me on the show a few years ago to talk more about how her school mentors and supports two E Kids. During this conversation, Melanie shares insights from her new book aimed at twice exceptional adults. She explains what the term 2EA means, the unique needs of 2EA people, and why she's passionate about radical self-acceptance. Melanie also shared her thoughts on what stands in the way of a more accepting and supportive society for neurodivergent people, as well as her advice for parents raising two E and two EA kids. And if you too are neurodivergent, two E or two EA, I hope this conversation inspires you to be your unique self in a more, as Melanie puts it, radical way.
Before I get to that, as you may know, I've been working to create some self-study programs for parents and caregivers who are looking for specific support. Last fall I shared a mini course called the Emergency Reset, and my newest course is a 12-month differently wired club boot camp, featuring monthly themes, conversations with experts and authors, worksheets, accountability challenges, deep dive resources, and weekly emails to keep you on track. Together over the course of the next year, I'll help you take the small, tangible, and doable steps that can have a positive and truly profound impact on your family. The big goal? More peace, confidence, and joy for you and your kids. To learn more visit courses.tiltparenting dot com or just go to Tilt Parenting and click on Courses in the main menu.
Lastly, don't forget to check your podcast feed on Fridays as Playback Fridays, where I re-release some of my favorite episodes from the first two years of the show, is here again. I've got upcoming episodes with Alfie Cohn on unconditional parenting, Karen Young of Hayes Sigmund talking about anxiety in children, Dr. Dan Peters on parenting with purpose and intention, and much more. Alright, thanks so much and now here is my conversation with Melanie. Hey Melanie, welcome back to the podcast. Thank you so much, Debbie. I'm so excited to be here. I'm excited to talk about your new book. As we're recording it, it's not quite out yet, but by the time this comes out, listeners will be able to check it out.
But could you take a few minutes and do your own introduction for yourself and who you are in the world? Sure, so
So, you know, like you, I'm a mom who uh was beginning my work based on the needs of my children. And then it just has grown and blossomed into being an activist for the two E community and um somewhat now expanding into the autistic community.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What societal pressures affect twice‑exceptional children and how can parents recognize them?
0:00–5:54
2
How does Dr. Melanie Hayes define the term “2EA” and why did she create it?
5:54–11:13
3
What unique challenges do autistic twice‑exceptional adults face in work, relationships, and daily life?
11:13–15:55
4
How can radical self‑acceptance and “escape hatches” help 2EA adults manage sensory overload and anxiety?
15:55–21:17
5
What practical advice does Melanie give parents for reducing anxiety and supporting a successful “launch” for their 2EA kids?
21:17–26:18
6
Why does Melanie argue that society’s fear of change is a major roadblock to true inclusion for neurodivergent people?
26:18–30:52
7
What is Melanie’s greatest hope for her book *Being Twice Exceptional* and how should readers use it?
30:52–35:56
8
How can listeners connect with Melanie’s work and continue supporting the twice‑exceptional community?
35:56–38:56
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids