Dr. Nicholas Epley

speaker

1,223 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 15 Jul

Dr. Nicholas Epley’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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The Liz Moody Podcast · The One Habit That Will Instantly Make You More Likeable · 15 Jul 2026 podcast

When we think about ourselves, we tend to judge ourselves in terms of our competency and therefore think that others are going to be judging us along the same dimension.

So when somebody sits down next to me and I think about having a conversation, I'm worried about what are we going to talk about?

Am I going to be able to carry this conversation on, right?

Are they really going to want to talk to me?

You sit down and write a gratitude to somebody who really did something meaningful for you.

And you're thinking, man, how do I express this, right?

We're thinking about our competency.

Other people tend not to evaluate us in terms of our competency.

Other people tend to evaluate us in terms of our warmth.

What you want to know about somebody when you first meet them or actually interact with them almost any time is, are they a decent person?

Are they somebody I want to be around?

So when somebody sits down next to me on the train and I turn to them and I say, hi, hi, I'm Nick.

in a friendly way, right?

That is powerful because that's what the other person cares about is your friendliness.

When you write a gratitude letter to somebody, they're not wordsmithing your grammar, right?

They're caring about the amount of love and appreciation and gratitude you've expressed, the warmth that you've passed on to them.

So we do worry about judgment.

But we worry about being judged on the wrong things.

We worry about being judged on our competency.

In fact, we're being evaluated on our warmth.

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