Dr. Sarah Ashton
speaker
309 appearances
3 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2020
last heard Oct 2021
Dr. Sarah Ashton’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
How much have you tried?
Like if you approach um this conversation with kindness and curiosity, then that's yeah, that's really the best way that it can be perceived.
And just to reassure them that
you're you're glad that they've they've shared this with you because it's it's an investment in the connection, an investment in the relationship.
I think that it can often be like all sorts of different emotional responses in someone when
they hear that their partner has a particular sexual interest that perhaps sits outside of what they already know of them or what sits outside of what, you know, their sexual activity has been to date.
And, you know, this can be even more difficult perhaps if um it's involved any kind of secrecy or um, you know, you you feel kind of betrayed by this in any way.
if a person has previously denied it, you know.
Um but if they're just they're you're just in the process of getting to know them and um they're sharing this with you for the first time, again, I it's important to keep in mind that they're doing this because they they want to become closer with you.
They want you to understand more about them.
them sexually.
But I think what's equally important is to remember what you and to connect with what your own needs and your own wants are in this situation.
You know, I think that when
It involves, you know, matters of the heart.
And, you know, when it involves feeling like your relationship might be under threat, one of the most harmful things that people can do is abandon their own preferences and desires and boundaries and just kind of say, Well, I'm gonna go along with what my partner is interested in, or I'm just going to, you know, try this out even though I feel really uncomfortable with it.
You know, so it's really important that.
You know, whatever you're doing, you're making sure that you're checking in with yourself and seeing whether how you feel about things and what your preferences and responses are.
But it sounds like there's a lot of conversation that's needed around this.
You know, there there might be a lot of questions, a lot of shared understanding that needs to happen before, you know, someone can really understand what this means for their relationship, what it means for them personally.
And so I think.
Showing 281–300 of 309 · page 15 of 16
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