Dr. Yalda Safai
speaker
105 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard Apr 2025
Dr. Yalda Safai’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
It's the worst. It's the worst. I know, it's like triggering. Und ich bin aus dem Mittleren Osten, also verstehe ich es. Es gibt immer noch kulturelle Druck. Ich auch. Ich bin Libyanin, also verstehe ich es. Ja, ich bin Iranin, ich bin Persin. Es gibt den Druck, verheiratet zu werden und Kinder zu haben. Und deine Verwandten fragen dich immer noch über das. Also verstehe ich es.
Es fühlt sich schrecklich an. Und du wirst wirklich verletzt, wenn jemand fragt, warum du noch Single bist. Was für eine Frage ist das?
I've thought about this a lot and I always say, because I've been asked this a lot, I'm like, I haven't met the right person, I'm taking my time, I'm getting to know myself, I'm working on myself and when the time is right, he will come.
Ja, und ich sehe leider einen Trend. Viele von diesen Frauen rutschen in eine andere Beziehung, weil sie fühlen, dass sie diesen Verlust erfüllen müssen. Sie haben vielleicht eine Beziehung seit zehn Jahren, jetzt sind sie einzig. Es fühlt sich ein wenig ungeheuer an, richtig? Also rutschen sie, diesen Verlust zu erfüllen, mit der nächsten Person, die dorthin kommt.
Das ist für mich das wichtigste. Du machst Fehler, wenn du das tust. Ich sehe das sehr oft, leider. Mein Vorschlag an die Leute, die gerade aus einer Beziehung kamen, ist immer, dass man auf sich selbst arbeiten muss und es Zeit braucht. Diese Zeitlinie ist für alle andere anders.
Also macht sicher, dass ihr nicht die Schmerzen, das Wachstum einer ehemaligen Beziehung zu eurer aktuellen Beziehung bringt. It's not going to work out. Make sure you leave the time. And when you're ready, you'll know. Work on yourself, basically. And figure out who you are. And you change as a person.
If you've been in a marriage for 10 years, 20 years, the person coming out of that relationship, of that marriage, is not the same person who went into it. So you have to figure out who you are at this stage in your life, what your priorities are. You might have kids. They might be your priority. You might be still building up a career. You don't have time anymore.
to prioritize subpar relationships. You have these other priorities. I mean, say someone at the age of 50 is divorced after 20 years. At age 50, you likely have kids. You likely have a career, a thriving career that take up majority of your time. If you're going to pick somebody to spend time with, make sure that person is adding to your life. You do not have the luxury.
You do not have the time to waste it on subpar relationships, shallow relationships, you know, Men who take away from you emotionally, take away your time, drain your energy. You do not need that.
I like subpar though.
So, working on yourself has different meanings for people. If someone came out of an abusive relationship, I mean, that's a different type of working on yourself versus someone who, you know, their relationship after 20 years fell apart and they no longer had, you know, anything in common and that's why they got a divorce.
So it's very different for each person, what that working on yourself means. But I always say, at least the things you can control are your health. You can exercise, get healthy, make sure you're in a good mental mindset. And that comes with good relationships, friendships. It doesn't have to be partnership, good health, exercise, good mental health.
When you're in a good state mentally, and you know, if you do... Wenn du in deinem Leben mit Verletzungsproblemen kämpfst, musst du daran arbeiten. Wenn du in eine Beziehung mit Verletzungsproblemen gehst, Wir wissen alle, was passieren könnte. So, das ist, wie du auf dich selbst arbeitest. Das sind Dinge, die du kontrollieren kannst.
Was du nicht kontrollieren kannst, ist, wir haben darüber gesprochen, Dating ist nicht wie Arbeit. Mit Arbeit, du, du hustelst, du kommst irgendwo hin, du wirst erfolgreich. Mit Dating, du kannst nicht hart daran arbeiten. Es funktioniert nicht so. Das Einzige, was du kontrollieren kannst, ist dich selbst. Deine mentale und physische Gesundheit.
Ja.
Well, when my mom's generation was growing up, oftentimes the women would not work. They were inside the home. They had certain responsibilities. The man was outside the house. There was a dependency on each other. The woman financially was dependent on the man. The man was dependent on the woman for meals, to take care of the kids. That dependency is gone.
We don't need a partnership to survive anymore. Women are independent. They have their own money. They can order Uber Eats every day. Even men can, right? You don't need companionship. And with the Internet, it is so easy to be able to go out on dates whenever you want, meet up with friends whenever you want.
So I think at a certain point in time where there was no Internet and people were dependent on each other, you needed it. The need is gone. So women, and this is a good thing, they don't, Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja. I see this newer generation, they're not even thinking about marriage. That is not even in their vocabulary.
So my generation is really stuck between the old and the new, which is a very confusing place to be.
If that's really what you want, it will happen. And I know, my mom used to tell me that my entire life. She's like, don't worry, he will come, he will come. And I'm like, how are you saying this to me? Like, how are you just saying he'll come? I'm 37 years old, he's not going to come. My mom kept saying, have faith. And she was right.
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