Eli Sheff

speaker

421 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 29 Jul

Eli Sheff’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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Modern Love · Is Polyamory Right for You? · 29 Jul 2026 podcast

Absolutely.

Okay.

I think about jealousy now as like nodes in the brain, kind of.

And some people have very few of those nodes and they get activated by very few things.

That person is a much better fit for...

for an open relationship.

If people know themselves and they know that they get really jealous about a lot of things and it's very painful for them, then trying to share a partner with someone else might not be a good choice.

The other thing is it might vary by relationship.

So if they're in a relationship where everything is really good and it's this one thing they're having a mismatch around...

So they're having a mismatch around exclusivity or openness.

Right.

But in other ways, they're on the same page about whether or not they want children, how to spend money, religion, work, free time.

You know, if they click on all those other things and this is the only thing that they're kind of out of alignment on, it's much easier to manage.

Huh.

then if they're out of alignment on exclusivity or openness, as well as disagree about whether they should have kids or not and have conflicting religious beliefs and one of them wants to save and one of them wants to spend, then it's going to be the kiss of death for that relationship.

Generally, in that kind of what I think of as a mixed dynamic, where one person wants an open relationship and another wants an exclusive relationship, generally, if they can meet in the middle, where it's going to be probably more open than the exclusive person wants, but more closed than the polyamorous person wants.

So for some people, it looks like a hall pass, for example, that they can't have lovers in their home environment.

But if they go on a trip, they could hook up with someone in Jamaica and not be in trouble for it.

As long as don't bring any sexually transmitted infections home, don't get anybody pregnant, nobody gets to move in.

For another folks I know, one of them really wants an open relationship.

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