Elisabeth McKay

The moment that the brain starts scanning for who's prettier, thinner, getting more attention, has better skin, looks hotter in their dress, feels more confident, your nervous system turns proximity to beauty as evidence of personal inadequacy.

Being around them makes me feel worse than I actually am.

But that is actually the lie.

Comparison distorts your perception.

I told her very clearly when you see beauty, intelligence, confidence, power, and success in the people around you, choose to stand with it alongside it because it does amplify you.

And if you choose to do it and you do it with strategy, you will break the stronghold of jealousy.

And your prayer every day should be that it reflects your beauty and power, too, because we all have something beautiful inside of us.

But if we are operating from that comparison and scarcity, even the most beautiful girls can start to appear ugly.

They really can.

It's it is.

absolutely the truth that many of the most beautiful women just if you were to just grade on an actual scale of just pure raw physical beauty are some of the most unhappy people i have ever met in my life and they are completely lacking confidence why likely because they have this underlying pattern and maybe part of the reason they've elevated their beauty or try to be perfect all the time is because they're comparing to other people

and i don't care how physically beautiful you are i work with many male clients internal beauty and confidence wins every time you could take the most beautiful girl in the whole world and if she is jealous and keeping score and catty toward other people that guy will not find her attractive maybe it will be a short-term fling but that is not the woman that you spend the rest of your life with that's not the woman that you marry

When you experience jealousy, you believe that somebody else shining takes something away from you.

Wisdom understands that being surrounded by powerful people elevates everybody that is willing to actually grow together instead of compete against each other.

If you have a child who you suspect is exhibiting some of these behaviors, there are some simplified ways that you can step in there and try to offer some healthy correction.

One is not to shame the jealousy.

You want to help them understand why it's happening and understand the truth rather than the distortion.

So you also don't want to just pretend like it doesn't exist.

The thing that I see often happen is that the parent accidentally overvalidates their victimhood, where you get more into their feelings with them instead of helping them understand where their starting point was already not operating from truth.

You also don't want to rescue them emotionally or try to convince them of a truth that's not real.