Elisabeth McKay

I'll give you this example.

And I realize what I'm about to say may sound a little bit harsh, but it's just what came to me and I think it's a great example.

one of the things that I know I've asked of this before you know like something to the effect of you know what are some of your favorite qualities about me as your mom and same what's right they know I would never lie to them so I'm not going to blow smoke just to make them feel better I will be nurturing loving supportive I will be there for them I'll be there for them consistently but I'm not going to try to get into their distortion with them and

And ultimately, that should build and augment trust, not the other way around, even if the information that you're sharing may be hard to hear.

Guess what?

Life's not fair.

Guess what?

Learning how to face the truth is probably the most beneficial thing you can do for your child as they become an adult.

So let's say that you have a teenager that has really pronounced cystic acne on their face, okay?

And they are

down in the dumps they don't feel like they look beautiful they're like all these other girls are so pretty trying to convince them that you look like just all the other girls what are you talking about your skin's beautiful they can see in the mirror they now are actually going to lose trust in you because they realize that you are trying to rescue them emotionally and you're actually jumping into their distortion with them

A more honest way of dealing with this would be, honey, I know that struggling with acne right now is really hard and I can't imagine how that would feel.

Here are some examples of things that I think we can do so that we can start to work on your acne.

You are a beautiful person and focus on the things that are true.

Don't try to suddenly convince your child that your skin looks exactly like everybody else's skin because then you're just lying.

But focus on solutions.

Don't lie.

Focus on solutions.

Your brain isn't broken, it's running an old code.

Break Method is a system that maps your neurological patterns, decodes your emotional distortions, and rewires your behavior fast.