Elizabeth Shaw
speaker
1,154 appearances
11 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2016
last heard Sep 2021
Elizabeth Shaw’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I'm wondering what it means that you do that.
And there's heaps of room there to respond in any number of ways, including, oh, look, I didn't realise, you know, that could be hurtful or it could be that's an outrage or it could be... You know, there's any number of responses, but that...
that, you know, gives an opportunity to talk about it.
And it could be outside of awareness or it could have significant meaning.
And that's what has to be explored.
Look, there's two parts to any of these sorts of relationship conversations.
You know, one is the content itself.
You know, are you willing to talk to me about the content, which in this case is I'm uncomfortable with the amount you mention your ex.
So that's the content.
The second part of it, though, is whether your partner is at all responsive to the effect it's having, because what you really are looking for is a partner, even if they want to say, look, I want to keep doing this or I want to be able to
see or chat about my ex whatever it might be is also to be able to be relational to say but I see it's having an effect on you and I don't want to upset you and can we talk more about it so I think if a partner is both defensive and in fact
acting in an uncaring way towards the effect it's having on you, then you've kind of got two problems then and both need to be addressed.
Well, certainly somebody can bring that insecurity into the relationship and that could be because of previous betrayals or previous relationships that didn't end well for a range of reasons where their hopes were up and dashed at some point.
So sometimes a person does
worry about these things as early warning signs that they they want to you know make sure they're not in that predicament again it could be that they've never felt very strongly loved by anybody so it may not be specific romantic relationships but it may be it may be a much more pervasive sense of insecurity I think so certainly different people have different levels of
need for reassurance.
And in a good, healthy relationship, you want to actually be sensitive to your partner's
concerns and if they're reasonable to meet them.
I mean, none of us go into a relationship without, you know, any sort of vulnerabilities or flaws.
So, ideally, you have a partner who cares enough about you to say, okay, I get your history and I get you're vulnerable to that and I don't want to do anything to unkindly provoke that.
Showing 221–240 of 1,154 · page 12 of 58
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