Elizabeth Shaw
speaker
1,154 appearances
11 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2016
last heard Sep 2021
Elizabeth Shaw’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I mean, that said, you don't want to turn yourself inside out because of a partner's
But if it's a fair and reasonable thing that, look, I do feel vulnerable and I can need a bit more reassurance, you know, a good partner will attend to that.
It also does depend how it's coming up and how often.
I think there can be reasonable mentions of an ex and there can be things that are provocative.
and unnecessary.
And so I think bringing this into the light and considering what's going on, you know, is a bit more nuanced.
Well, in terms of that continuous loop of thinking about the past and look, I think it's really important to look at why you're getting preoccupied with it.
It's
You know, as I said before, I think if your partner's raising it, you want a good response to what you're raising.
It's not just whether the content is right or wrong.
You actually want to be attended to.
And you do want reassurance.
And it depends on what stage you're at in the relationship as to whether this has any place at all.
Because when you first meet someone, you often will be sharing your histories and comparing notes and
looking at where you've come from.
And once you've done that, you know, the need to bring up, oh, I've been to this restaurant with my ex.
There's actually no need to say that.
You know, you might say, I've been to this restaurant before.
Why would you need to say that sort of thing?
So I think bringing things up unnecessarily, if your partner points that out to you, you'd really want to say, gee, I wonder why I am doing that.
Showing 241–260 of 1,154 · page 13 of 58
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