Elizabeth Shaw
speaker
1,154 appearances
11 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2016
last heard Sep 2021
Elizabeth Shaw’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And am I hanging on to something here?
And equally, if you feel very reactive to it, you could ask yourself, actually in the context that that was just said, do I really need to be worried about that?
Like you're talking about holidays and you say, oh, look, I've already been to Thailand with my ex.
I'd rather go somewhere else.
That kind of comment is perfectly benign.
So I think you've got to sort of challenge yourself before you also get too preoccupied with these things.
I guess it depends on the terms of the breakup and whether the heat's gone out of it because that sounds so – it does sound really lovely that that potential is there but it's also the context.
You can hear as much as we can tell that the heat's gone out of it and that there's no sense of longing or I think if the partner that you have
was the one who didn't break up, for example, and they're not really resolved about the breakup and there's some mystery about the breakup or, you know, then I think even if they're saying, and particularly if it wasn't long since the breakup,
um I think often people rush to talk about being friends as the sort of really mature thing to do and of course that would be great if it was possible because it is a shame to lose a valuable person um but but the reason the friendship isn't possible often at least for a while as Jacqueline said is because um because the heat is still there there's
or uncertainty or maybe a door's still open.
And so there's just so many variables that can make that hard to achieve, even if it's a really terrific thing to achieve if you can do it.
Oh, look, absolutely.
And the whole tone and climate around it, absolutely.
And of course, a new partner will pick that up because one of the things that we're always checking is, are you really available to love me in the way that I'm ready to love you?
That's a kind of central premise.
And I think if there's grief around, then if you're in a relationship and the person really wants you, they will put up with that for a while in the hopes that you ultimately swing your affection to them.
But if that really doesn't happen easily, then of course it remains a tender area and the checking on it becomes much more compelling.
It's hard not to check and
when the whole basis for getting together was, you know, you started from that point.
Showing 261–280 of 1,154 · page 14 of 58
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