Elizabeth Shaw
speaker
1,154 appearances
11 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2016
last heard Sep 2021
Elizabeth Shaw’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
There's been some other nuanced sort of uh areas that uh and disorganized attachment is is one of the more um common.
So um of course secure is the one we all want to be.
It's the one that sounds the best, doesn't it?
Where where in fact you can feel calm and relaxed um around a rel range of relationship provocations because you're secure in yourself, you're confident of who you are.
you manage yourself in relation to others.
But anxious attachment is the most common style.
And and that that has really developed through um uh a great deal of unresolved dependency really in early in early life.
Um and where, you know, it may have been that um children weren't reassured that they were safe in the world, that phase of
a a child sort of launching themselves even in toddlerhood, you know, your parents saying, Off you go, you're gonna be fine.
Um a a sense that maybe the world wasn't fine, a sense that I better run back to mum or dad, and in fact I'm not very safe unless I'm quite close to them.
Um and and that kind of hanging on and the need for reassurance is never quite resolved.
And sometimes um there's these patterns have been studied that in fact
anxiety runs in families, it's often because your parent is an anxious person and feels unresolved and is worried for you and transmits it.
Um
And so so that's a very uh common style and it does influence you later of course.
And avoidant attachment is just as it sounds, that it's people who actually need um less reassurance by proximity.
So in fact they can feel much better if they have a bit more emotional distance.
And it doesn't mean that they value um intimacy any any less, but it means they need less of it to be going on with.
These people, though, at their extreme can look commit commitment phobic, they can um be the people most likely to have affairs and sabotage relationships.
Um, because in fact too much involvement can get quite stressful.
Showing 341–360 of 1,154 · page 18 of 58
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