Elizabeth Shaw

speaker

1,154 appearances 11 recordings 1 series first heard Nov 2016 last heard Sep 2021

Elizabeth Shaw’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Hook Up · Is age just a number? Age gaps when dating · 2 Nov 2016 podcast

It certainly is true that um that when you look at risk factors for divorce, some of the research on that voice-verified

one of the risk factors is um getting together very early. voice-verified

So in that case, someone who um found their partner at twenty and their partner was thirty six, the amount of growing up you do between twenty and thirty, certainly between twenty and thirty five voice-verified

almost if you had someone the same age as you, it could equally happen that you could just grow up very differently from that point. voice-verified

So whether it's 'cause they had an age gap or whether it is just because that period of time would have led to that anyway. voice-verified

I do think if you're starting to notice these sort of differences and struggles voice-verified

it you know, communication is everything, talking about what you need and why you feel you need it. voice-verified

If you've got a good partner who who really ch sort of challenges you on that about well why do you need that and how can we accommodate that within our relationship. voice-verified

Sometimes if couples can give each other a bit more space and say, actually look it's if you want to go out more, I'm fine with that. voice-verified

Um if you can allow that and there's a bit more of accommodation, uh maybe it's not conventional for others, but if it works for you, you can sometimes get through those stages and work your way out the other side. voice-verified

Well, the power the power differentials can be there at any age, of course. voice-verified

Um, even someone younger than you, but it can be emphasized when um your partner's older because sometimes they just have more of the trappings um that voice-verified

increasing inequity. voice-verified

So it might be that they have the bigger job, the bigger career, the bigger income. voice-verified

Um they might already own the property. voice-verified

You know, all of those things can make you feel on the back foot, can make you feel sort of um grateful and thrilled and interested to start with. voice-verified

But it can they can all be tools that can be used against you. voice-verified

And certainly if the person has come into the relationship voice-verified

where their motives are not ideal, like the previous um voice-verified

example of where you find out you might be arm candy or a bit of a status symbol, then sometimes having you in your place and looking and being a certain way is all part of the deal. voice-verified

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