Elizabeth Shaw
speaker
1,154 appearances
11 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2016
last heard Sep 2021
Elizabeth Shaw’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
It was just n it was not a good fit for a whole range of things.
So I think part of the problem is that we don't take enough time to digest
what happened and work through the hurt and try and be stronger in ourselves.
What we do is we instead turn all that into judgment about the other.
Well, I'm going to not have that sort of person in the future and instead I'm going to have that sort of person instead of
Well, what have I learned and what can I bring to the situation that could give me a bit more control and a bit more sort of confidence in myself?
Um, and it's not about the other person and their characteristics necessarily.
Um, it it could be about a whole range of other things.
Well, look, I think it's um it's the longing that you're left with that um that your relationship is interrupted.
Um and that you're alone on the outside and um and as was just mentioned, you could be facing a great deal of judgment and
Isolation and and you it's certainly true, it's uh it's something that most people say that they go through the sentence as well from a a different perspective.
So um so I think it is it is very painful and depending on where you were up to in the relationship when the interruption happens, um it it can be pretty hard to sustain.
If the stretch of time that your partner's away is going to be a long time.
Well, I think um initially it can bring you together because there is this sort of tragedy of the parting and the the fear and the devastation that can happen with the events as they've unfolded.
Um, over time there can be the um inequity between what you can both bring to the relationship, particularly if one is in maximum security and might be
in their cell 23 hours a day, they they literally may not have much to say except to talk about their suffering.
Whereas the person outside is um is busy trying to keep up a life and and can feel like the only source of information
um and in fact the main sort of mental health support.
And if you were both outside you might have other ways to support each other, but that
um inequity of news um and also the real struggle it can be to maintain visiting where um your partner could be moved overnight you could turn up at the jail and they've gone um uh that's not supposed to happen necessarily but for a variety variety of reasons it can and it might be that what was a
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