Elizabeth Shaw

speaker

1,154 appearances 11 recordings 1 series first heard Nov 2016 last heard Sep 2021

Elizabeth Shaw’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Hook Up · Love behind bars · 15 Mar 2021 podcast

A couple of suburbs away was suddenly a three hour drive.

I think getting there and then having to speak to someone through Perspecs.

You know, the intimacy is really rocked around and you've got to find another way through to each other, which is really tricky to maintain over time.

Well, it could be.

It really depends on

The security that you have with each other and other sorts of dynamics.

So, for example, if your partner on the inside is controlling and jealous, for example, or insecure or vulnerable, or a whole range of other things, they might demand loyalty of you through.

uh seeing less of your friends and family.

So I think going in and saying I went out to a party or I saw my friends, um, it it takes a bigger person to be able to say, I really want to hear your news, rather than what the hell were you doing?

And so um so I've certainly worked where someone's felt very controlled and um and and even threatened, you know, that I've got friends on the outside that are keeping an eye on you.

There's plenty of research that does indicate that

uh people who are well connected, at least to a few people, are going to have better outcomes because they they do have a lifeline that they can um that they can use as a resource when they get out as well and that engendering of hope because you you have people around and your world has not shrunk totally to jail.

But it is really valuable I think if you see

your partner getting isolated and you do feel a bit suffocated by the way they're relying on you um to to share the load, to encourage them to

um study in whatever way, take up any opportunity going and sometimes there aren't many.

If there is the opportunity to work, then to work certainly to connect with others.

Because I think it is really important that your partner has

um multiple sources of engagement, it's better for their self esteem and it also brings more life.

to the relationship with you.

There is this uh sometimes suspension of reality that you're trying to make the conversation different to any other aspect of your life.

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