Ella McCrystal

speaker

542 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jun 2026 last heard 29 Jun

Ella McCrystal’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.

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ADHD Chatter · Trauma Expert: 3 Oddly Specific ADHD Trauma Issues · 29 Jun 2026 podcast

And I know I'm an idiot because I've been told my whole entire life that...

you know, I'm bad or I'm naughty or I'm too much.

So I think those things make you more vulnerable.

Yeah.

I often say, specifically with my dad, I felt responsible for him.

I might have said this on the last episode, I'm not sure.

I felt responsible for him because as a child, when you're being sexually abused, you can't use...

rational thinking and analysis which again often goes offline with ADHD anyway in an emotional situation and so if my dad would say to me you know no one can hear about this because they wouldn't understand and then I would be able to pick up even quite early on I think I was able to pick up that he felt guilty about what he was doing he wouldn't necessarily say that and

And without being too graphic, in the actual physical abuse going on, I wouldn't have said that guilt was there.

But immediately afterwards, I would sense his guilt and shame.

And I felt that I had to make him feel better.

So that became my job.

to make sure he was okay so in terms of rejection sensitivity for me personally and I'm sure for many other people if I feel like I'm not pleasing somebody or doing the best that I can do I feel a great deal of responsibility for how they feel and if they don't feel good

they're going to be unhappy with me.

And there's a consequence to that, which is they're going to judge me and I'm going to be pushed out.

I'm going to be the problem, which is what I think a lot of people with rejection sensitivity feel.

They feel like it's not just about rejection, interestingly enough.

It's about being perceived as a problem, being perceived as less than, being perceived as being the responsible one, being perceived as the cause of chaos.

And therefore, primitively, I think we all assume that if we're perceived that way,

we're going to be pushed out of the clan or of the pack or of the family or of the group.

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