Ella McCrystal

speaker

542 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jun 2026 last heard 29 Jun

Ella McCrystal’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

Trend

recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.

Appearances

newest first · ▶ plays the moment

ADHD Chatter · Trauma Expert: 3 Oddly Specific ADHD Trauma Issues · 29 Jun 2026 podcast

You're either too much or you're not enough.

You know, there's somewhere on that spectrum you sit.

often you're going between the two so in terms of masking you learn that you're not you learn that you're not worthy so the only way that you're going to survive in this world is to create characters and you end up sometimes so fragmented with so many different characters that you lose sight of that core self that we spoke about right at the beginning um you know if you if your identity is split in three ways fine but if your identity is split into

20 different parts it's really hard to remember who you are so the masking then goes up a gear and it's such a hard thing to come out of and I think that's where people start to really struggle with mental health.

Yes.

I think because you have to be so hyper aware and hyper attuned and hyper vigilant.

You know, like for me, slight noises of maybe my dad coming up the stairs or thinking he was walking past a door.

So you'd hear the tiniest little movement and wonder if this is going to happen again kind of thing.

You become so tuned in to somebody else that masking is a way of kind of

avoiding the truth of how you really feel.

So I remember being a child and if someone was horrible to me, I used to be fat when I was a kid and I mean fat, you know, when some people say they were fat as a kid and they actually weren't, they were just a little bit chubby.

I was obese.

So when I was a child and people picked on me for being fat or obviously at home when I'm

To avoid the shame or the fear that I was experiencing.

So if someone said, I remember one boy said that I wouldn't be able to go to his birthday party because I wouldn't fit through the door.

Now, that's quite funny.

But at the time, he meant it.

He don't want the fat, ugly kid coming to his party.

That's going to spoil his day.

So that level of rejection.

Showing 321–340 of 542 · page 17 of 28