Ella McCrystal

speaker

542 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jun 2026 last heard 29 Jun

Ella McCrystal’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.

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ADHD Chatter · Trauma Expert: 3 Oddly Specific ADHD Trauma Issues · 29 Jun 2026 podcast

So I just became a bit of a nutter.

I sort of like went around beating up all the boys.

That was my way.

But actually, I was deeply, deeply hurt.

I was massively affected.

So the mask that I wore there was that I'm going to bully the boys before they've got a chance to bully me.

And I'm going to be protector of the girls so that they liked me.

And then at home, the mask was just that, I guess, I became a bit moody and a bit difficult.

So instead of being vulnerable, I became somebody again, I probably created the mask of moodiness so that that became the problem rather than being abused.

So there's these adaptions that you make, which make you, again, very, very vulnerable going into adulthood.

Because if they're the adaptions that you make as a child and they're the defense mechanisms that you have as a child, you're definitely going to ruin some of your relationships.

They feel extremely exposed and vulnerable because that's been their defense.

Like I say, it's a defense mechanism.

It's an armor that you wear.

And it saves you from being hurt.

It saves you from looking foolish.

It saves you from humiliation.

So as soon as you stop masking, uh-oh, the real me is going to be revealed.

And the real me was the one that was told that you're too much or not enough or that you're naughty or that you're horrible or that you're selfish.

That's a big one, actually, selfish.

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