Esther Perel

It's all of this in a fantastic soup.

It's not a problem.

It is...

What happens when you have the mystery meeting the longing, meeting the desire, meeting the uncertainty, and meeting possibility?

Right.

But butterflies are often mixed with anxiety.

That's the thing.

It's, you know, it's part of the soup.

You can't have butterflies that are just, you know, because the minute you start to be drawn to someone, let's explain why butterflies involve anxiety.

Because the minute you begin to be drawn to someone, the minute you start to experience any inklings of attraction or love, you also experience anxiety.

a fear of rejection, a sense of insecurity, a question about how much it is shared and mutual and reciprocal, and a fear of loss.

They go together.

You can't experience any love without also experiencing the fear of losing the love.

So I think that the idea that you can have it clean without any anxiety is really taking us down the wrong direction.

Yes.

Yes.

If you want to take out all the wrinkles from the start...

you're in trouble.

Wrinkles are part of experience.

Basically, taking out the wrinkles from the start is like taking out the experience.