Gemma Cribb
speaker
1,656 appearances
19 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2017
last heard Jan 2020
Gemma Cribb’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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for you.
Yeah, really, really common.
Everything that she talks about, including needing to feel in control and certain positions triggering her and and not having that desire for sex is absolutely classic for a lot of people who have had sexual abuse histories.
it's best to start off by yourself and getting reacquainted with your body, um, solo.
So starting to learn how you like to be touched and and how your body responds sexually by yourself so that you are a hundred percent in control and there's nobody else's needs you need to negotiate.
Um and you can start to actually just relearn your own responses and relearn what feels good for you.
Even sometimes when you're doing that, memories of abuse can can come up for you.
So you'll also potentially need to learn how to deal with those memories and and put them aside and remind yourself that you're safe now and that that was in the past and that you
you have 100% control in this moment.
And then graduating into uh having sex with a a a person that you trust and love, um, slowly in that same way.
Yeah, it sounds like she's got a lot of um
confusion there around what means yes and what means no even within her own body and and this quest for an orgasm seems to be her her kinda point at which she's sort of surmounted the abuse that she um experienced.
So good on her for for going on the quest.
I I guess I would say and reinforce what Gemma said on the clip that
that you certainly can have all sorts of signs of arousal, men can get an erection even if it's a non consensual sex.
So just because you're turned on does not mean that that's a yes.
Um and lots of people feel very guilty and ashamed and they don't classify sexual abuse as sexual abuse because their own body responded with pleasure.
I will also say that
Um, gaining re control and solo pleasure masturbation as as Gemma was talking about is a really good first step in working out your yeses and your no's within your own body so that you can then take that to a partner and become very clear with your yeses and your no's with a partner.
And then I I would also say letting that idea of orgasm go.
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