Gemma Cribb
speaker
1,656 appearances
19 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2017
last heard Jan 2020
Gemma Cribb’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Then after time has passed and after you're doing new things, meeting new people, feeling a bit better about things, sure, taking some time to look back and in hindsight think about what you learned from that relationship and that person and be grateful for that person.
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that's a really good healthy way of processing it in the later stages
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Look, I think even at the point that you've got concerns, you should be assessing how your partner makes you feel valued and safe in the relationship, even if it's via distance.
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If he dismisses your concerns or if he tells you that you're being pathetic or whatever, it's not a really good sign for someone who is willing to do what it takes to make a relationship work.
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Of course.
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And I think it's probably complicated because it's really easy to have an idea in your head of a relationship when it's long distance that doesn't
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match up to who the person is.
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in a way it's kind of good that he's moved closer and you get to see this other side of him because it'll help you move through it.
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You know what, it really depends on the person.
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If you're someone that after the breakup feels awful about yourself and feels unattractive or worries that all the good ones are taken and there'll be nobody who's into you, then totally some breakup sex and rebounding and all that sort of stuff can really help you start to feel confident in yourself again and start to realise that your ex isn't the only one
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who could be the one for you.
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However, it can also go the other way and I've certainly met people who've tried to move on a little too quickly and then spend all that time comparing these new people to their ex and putting their ex on a pedestal and thinking, oh God, see...
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You know, he's the only one for me and nobody else is measuring up.
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So it can be a really tricky one.
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Yeah, it's really tricky because some people can sustain friendships as you obviously did with your ex for a while but often it comes into question with the security of the new partner.
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He has to prioritise his new partner's safety and security in that relationship and it sounds like she's suggested that deleting you would be the way that she would feel most comfortable.
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So it's a really volatile type of friendship in that respect and you have every right to feel really hurt and really bummed and really sad that you've lost that, but also keeping in mind that as part of caring for someone, that means caring that, you know, they're going to be happy in life and they're doing what's right for them and trying to get your needs met with other friends and seeing if you can think about...
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what hole he was meeting for you either emotionally or in terms of the friendship and working out what type of friend you might need to connect with or who you might need to hang out with more that will also meet that need.
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Yeah, it's sort of like a prolonged grief.
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You broke up with him a while ago but now you're actually feeling it.
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Showing 701–720 of 1,656 · page 36 of 83
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