Grace Beverley
speaker
5,597 appearances
28 recordings
6 series
first heard Apr 2026
last heard 21 Sep
Grace Beverley’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 28 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 10.
Appearances
And I think I've realised that explaining to someone why their behaviour is a problem for me is a form of labour and it's also a form of hope.
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The shift I made here was actually letting my actions do the communicating instead.
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So not giving up my time at the last minute because I've made it very clear I'm not available at the last minute or desperately trying to change someone constantly over and over again.
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And I think the truth is that the people worth keeping always figure it out from your actions.
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because they are emotionally intelligent enough to learn and adapt and overcome and the ones who don't are also giving you the answer that they are not worth investing in anymore and I think we sometimes interpret that the other way we sometimes interpret that in terms of I'm not worth making plans with ahead of time or I'm not worth doing this no
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That person is not worth investing your time in anymore as it is very clear you have deep incompatibility around how you like to live your lives and that is not always going to be the case.
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Sometimes you have different views on something, you communicate it once or twice and it changes.
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When that doesn't happen and you are saying over and over, I can't do this, I don't put up with this, I don't put up with this and you are putting up with it, you're the one giving mixed signals because your actions are not aligning with what you say and it's clearly not changing.
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Number three is that I applied the effort match rule ruthlessly.
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I've spoken about this a few times now, but I think it is 100% worth repeating as it is my number one dating rule.
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I am by nature a high effort person.
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I put a lot into friendships, into work, into relationships, and I have been in situationships and relationships with people who were not.
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And I kept telling myself that the gap was something that I could bridge if I was patient enough or cool enough or less needy about it.
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Whereas what I eventually accepted is that a low effort person with a high effort person does not produce a medium effort relationship.
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It produces one person constantly feeling undervalued and one person constantly feeling like they can't do enough.
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And I'm not saying either type is wrong.
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Some people just want a lower key version of a relationship that...
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operates at a certain level and that is so valid but I know that I'm not one of those people.
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High effort people need to be with high effort people because the mismatch in expectations in terms of what makes you feel special will make you both miserable in the long run.
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And since I spoke about this last, I actually looked more into the science behind it too, because that is what we like to do over here.
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Showing 1881–1900 of 5,597 · page 95 of 280
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