Joey Diaz
speaker
3,386 appearances
6 recordings
3 series
first heard Jan 2024
last heard 10 Jun
Joey Diaz’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.
Appearances
I was in the hospital, and I get on a fucking elevator, and there's two or three doctors, you know, Half a fag's in my world, okay? And they're like, oh, my God, we can't wait till the Kennedy report comes out. Well, how is it going to make a difference in your world? It's like these idiots with the Epstein list. How is it going to make a difference in your world if Tom Hanks is on that list?
I'll tell you. Do you not have to go to work tomorrow? Do you have to do all the same shit? That shit doesn't matter to me. I don't give a fuck. Who's on the Epstein list? I don't give a fuck who went to Diddy's house. It's got nothing to do with me. But in today's world, because of the internet, it makes us think it's got something to do with us. It had nothing to do with me, man. It's a show.
That's what it is. What's a fucking show? I don't want to watch that show. So now I got to wait here 60 years. We've been watching the same footage. He got hit. It clocked back. You know, Lee Harvey out. But now we want to really fuck with these fucking peanut nimble-headed dummies. Well, I want to see what's on there. Then two days later, the Jews did it. Believe me.
Just worry about paying your fucking credit card bills, you fucking idiot. That's what you should worry about. Did you see what happened this year in this country? Fucking millionaires are selling off fucking property to pay taxes to get capital. Are you fucking kidding me? And people were worried about the fucking Epstein list.
Like, how is it going to change your life who fucking Tom Hanks is fucking in the ass? Who does it matter? And do you really care? At the end of the day, do you really care about that 16-year-old girl? No, you don't. So shut the fuck up. Nobody cares. It's just a fucking show. It's a show. It's a show. It's like I told you about L.A.
What's that fucking show with the crazy stoner guy, Seth Rogen? Oh, I haven't seen it. The studio, okay? Not a bad show. Not a bad show at all. But I was watching that show, and it let me realize what I hated. Short, small talk. That shit we were talking about before where people just like, well, the other day a contractor came over. I love this guy. Came over to my house, going to do the garage.
And there was a moment of 10 minutes that it was him and his son and me and my wife. And we're just standing there. And it just takes one guy to go, all right, back to work, everybody. Because if not, we'll sit there for three hours. So how did it feel? Great. How was your trip? How was the hospital stay? Listen, it doesn't fucking matter how my hospital stay was.
Get in your truck, get the fuck out of here, and I'll get the fuck out of here. I go my way. You know, my wife, I hate her around when people come over. Because she always throw that curveball in. Like, tell them to look at the room. No, they don't need to look at the fucking room. Leave them in the fucking garage. If not, you're going to confuse these motherfuckers.
You got to assume everybody is confused. You go to a restaurant, you get something wrong. Everybody is not cooking on fucking, you know. It's something I've never seen before. Every time I go somewhere, I'm like, how can they be that stupid? How can they not do this? You go to CVS, there's... Anywhere you go, it's like they're not even training people anymore.
They're not even training people anymore. You know, you go to... I went somewhere the other day. I was at the mall. My daughter was on... I go to P.F. Chang's. P.F. Chang's, those type of restaurants, they used to train people. For two weeks, you don't get paid. You're in there learning shit.
It's not like a regular restaurant where they're like, follow Joe Rogan around for a day and then fucking come back tomorrow and you're on your own. Dog, nobody's fucking... They don't know anything. These young kids today don't know anything. Nothing.
They don't care. My friend was telling me his son's got a license for two years. He's home every night. We got a license. We left the house before we had the license. We were driving to New Hampshire. Yeah, we had the car before we had the fucking license. Yeah. But listen, I went to a comedy show and a guy, a comedian, was talking about kids. And I'm like, I'm not going to do that no more.
Because that's all of us. We all talk about when I was fucking 40. Right. When I was 28, you know, I did this and I did that. Right. But these kids today are different and I've accepted it. I've accepted it in my neighborhood. When I went back, I was pissed for a few fucking months. How come? Because there's no kids playing. There's kids all over my fucking street.
And my little cult is back there. I got like eight fucking kids. Mr. Softy comes. We're the only ones out there. Four in the afternoon. Where are the fucking kids?
Nah, there's a lot of safe neighborhoods where kids don't play. Our neighborhood wasn't that safe, but in unity there is strength.
It's the fucking cell phone. That too. It's the cell phone and the computer. That too. It's so many things, but I don't have a problem with it no more. That's what I'm trying to say to you. It's who they are now. It's who they are. You know, I was reading something. I just put this together. It's the truth.
Remember a couple, maybe a year ago, they were talking about how low testosterone are in these people?
They don't run. They don't jump.
So what do you think testosterone levels are going to be?
They're crack. They're crack. I just never felt the need to sit there on a fucking computer. And shoot at people. I'd rather shoot at people for real. I'd rather steal a car for real or roll a fucking drug dealer.
Showing 301–320 of 3,386 · page 16 of 170
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