Joey Diaz
speaker
3,386 appearances
6 recordings
3 series
first heard Jan 2024
last heard 10 Jun
Joey Diaz’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Weren't you a model guy?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. With the brick wall and all that.
Yeah, I used to paint them and the whole thing. That's the only thing that kept me in when I was a kid. That was fun. Until one day my mom goes, stop painting those fucking things. Get out of the fucking house. How much paint fumes were we just fucking getting in our bodies as little kids?
You got one to go for me? Yeah, of course. I have one to go.
Fuck use both.
That affected something.
And what's the pros and cons of this shit? I don't think there's any pros. It's all cons. This is not good. The one we just did now is just a higher strength of the stuff they used to put in your nose. It's the same stuff.
Now, if you get knocked out and put that on them, what happens?
Oh, my God. And I got this fucking Loris, not Loris Fishburne. Who's the other guy? The guy I like a lot. He's in The Godfather of Harlem. Forrest Whitaker. Forrest Whitaker. I got this Forrest Whitaker eye now.
Yeah, right here. Over this. I got to put like scotch tape over this.
It's like that Hicks joke about, you know, when you smoke cigarettes, they're on the side of labels. Oh, yeah.
I can live with that. Just pick the ones you like.
Yeah, people blasting themselves. That's hilarious. What's going on for Jersey? Who's on that card, Kyla, against the Venezuelans?
It has been brutal for me. Brutal. And when I eat mushrooms, I got to pee every 20 fucking minutes. Why? And if I'm in a car, I got to pull over and pee. And I got to make sure I'm not in the sexual fucking territory. Like, I don't pee at close to schools, churches, fucking parks. Because then they throw you under the bus for sexual whatever. And you got to be careful.
But, dog, I'm in a world where some weeks are better than others. I don't get up at night to pee. But in the daytime, especially if I work out and I start drinking that water and drinking that water, oh, baby. I got to start peeing, and when I got sick, this was the beauty of it. Every time I had to pee, I'd get anxiety. I would get a panic attack. I couldn't even make it to the bathroom to walk.
I was peeing my pants on the way to the fucking bathroom, Joe. You have no idea. The last week of February, when I went to the hospital in March, that was possibly that Saturday night. My blood pressure was 212 over 100, and my oxygen level was at 86. And I wouldn't go to the hospital because I didn't want the ambulance coming to get me at 4 in the morning in front of my daughter.
So I waited until 8, and then I drove myself to the hospital. I was fucked up, bro. Wow. That was a fucked up couple months, man. I didn't know what was going on. And what did they determine it was? It was... heart, congenitive heart failure, when you have fluid in your lungs, edema, whatever, I was retained. Bro, I went, I walk around, right now I'm 278.
Like a month. And I wasn't eating in the hospital, nothing. What were you eating? Was it like Italian food? Like what did I eat so big? No, I was just retaining water. Edema is when you retain water. Oh. Like big time water. That much water? Oh, my God, Joe. And my lungs was getting the water, so I couldn't breathe.
And then when I would not, it got to, it became, it went from me just having to stop. Like if I would walk from here, I wouldn't make it to your bathroom. Couldn't make it to your bathroom. I would have to stop in between and take like a five minute breath. Meanwhile, holding my pee in. Oh, Jesus. And your fucking stress levels going up and up because you're holding your fucking pee in.
It got to the point I would walk into the shop where I get what I had to get, but now I got to stand there. Because I got to fucking pee from the walking. Oh, no. And the bathroom's a mile away. There's no walking. You just take your dick out and pee. There's no even. Oh, my God. In those days, it wasn't even getting the container from the car because I started bringing the container in the car.
Showing 321–340 of 3,386 · page 17 of 170
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