Joey Diaz
speaker
3,386 appearances
6 recordings
3 series
first heard Jan 2024
last heard 10 Jun
Joey Diaz’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.
Appearances
There was no time. You just get out, open the car door, and make believe you're waving at somebody. And you take your dick out and you're peeing. I make believe like I'm getting something from the back of the car. The whole time I'm peeing. Oh, wow. Yeah, man. So as soon as I went in, they put me on these fucking things for three days, and I lost like 20 pounds of fluid. It was fucking amazing.
I was peeing one of those full things, one an hour. Really? Couldn't even make it to the bathroom. I would just get up and fucking pee in it and fill it up. And then they did a nuclear blood test. And they had to take out, I don't know, fucking six tubes of blood in 45 minutes. And that's when they came back and they go, you got 65%. You're overloaded on fluid in your body.
You're retaining that much water and your blood cells are off the charts. So we got to start draining. I started draining. They were taking, I don't know how many tubes from me every three hours of blood. Wow. Look at my fucking arms. They're fucking banged up. I look like a fucking heroin junkie. So when I got out, I started taking it. Listen, when you end up in a hospital, there's a problem.
Okay? There's a problem. You cut a stitch, that's not a problem. You had a situation. That's how I looked at it. There's a problem here. We got to get to the bottom of this fucking thing. What is the bottom of it? What's the cause of it? I was taking MK-677. What is that? And it's an amino acid peptide which mimics growth hormone in your brain.
And it had a lot of dumps, like insulin dumps and all this type of shit. And it was raising my sugar. It was doing a ton of shit. I didn't even know it. But this ain't the first time it happened. It happened when I was doing testosterone when I was 50. I had a rush of red blood cells, and I had to go to, I was in D.C., and I had the worst fucking migraine headache for days.
And they took blood out, and they go, you got too many red blood cells. Wow. So that's why I can't do any of that shit. And it's like the man said, if you're going to do growth, do growth. Don't get something that's going to mimic growth.
I love Brigham. Brigham's a good fucking man. He's the best. And he loves what he does. He does. And that's what the key is. Like, he's jerking off all over that fucking Martian. He loves that shit.
It's pretty really fucking good. It's really cool. But that was what I had going on, man. When I came out. We're going to see what we can do. Yeah, I quit smoking pot and I was like, come on, man. After about a month, I'm like, come on, Joey. This ain't what fucking puts you in the hospital. You know this. So I started slightly.
I would just do one hit in the morning because that's all I need is the morning. The rest of the day is bullshit. I just like to be high in the morning with that coffee. That's my world. That lets me know what I'm doing that day. You think about life. No. Think about what you're doing. It's like what Bill Hicks said. Marijuana don't make you lazy.
It just makes you realize that what you're going to do ain't worth doing. Okay? That's the way I look at it. You know, when I had to drive into the city to do that podcast, only 18 people listened to it. I'm not fucking going to do this. You know, that's what happens. And that's what happens with me. I smoke pot in the morning. I'm like, I ain't doing that today.
I'm coming to get your booty.
With my tongue, yes.
That's hilarious, dude.
So embarrassing.
Manterrupting.
I sent a video of hers to Sickler. He goes, the funniest part is that I see that you follow her. I was like, yeah, every day she's just like, ah, look at my tongue. They're sending radioactive waves into my apartment.
That's his landlord. Yikes. That's his landlord.
He's a worker.
Right.
Yeah. You got it. You don't.
Showing 341–360 of 3,386 · page 18 of 170
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