John (the shooter)

speaker

921 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 5 Jul

John (the shooter)’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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We're All Insane · I Was a School Shooter · 5 Jul 2026 podcast

I was terrified of opening up about that.

And I tell people another issue about like that a lot of kids have and a lot of adults have in therapy is pretty quickly I started to like...

want the approval of my therapist.

I didn't want my therapist to look at me weird.

I didn't want my therapist to know this.

Like, again, I blame myself for the abuse.

I didn't want my therapist to think that I was disgusting or that something was wrong with me in that way.

So I just continued to clam up about most things, everything.

Okay.

No.

I would never open up about the abuse until I was in prison.

Yeah.

And that was honestly a big thing, right?

Yeah.

You know, I thought that the sexual abuse that I was the victim of as a small child, I thought that if I opened up about this as a teenager, that some people would look at me differently as a man, right?

That this would somehow lower my masculinity in people's eyes.

And I was afraid of that.

You know, like I was never trying to be like a macho man, but at the same time, I didn't want to be looked at as less than.

And I thought that it would.

In reality, it doesn't.

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