John Mulaney
๐ค SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
And I pump my shotgun once.
I go, it's now seven seconds.
Better start running.
Start running, bitch.
Hold on.
So can I say this?
Has anyone...
handled a bar of just plain white soap, put it in their hands, had it lather up while they were standing in front of a sink with warm water running on their hands and went, is this all there is?
This is it?
There's got to be more.
There's got to be more than this.
How come it doesn't smell of honeysuckle?
How come it doesn't look like it has the measles?
Why isn't it?
What's with just soap shaped like a bar of soap?
All it does is make suds in my hand and clean them.
Hey, I'm not exfoliating.
Yeah, why isn't there more to this than that?