Josh Johnson

You may need to pay the tab because your boy's about to smash.

That's just the kind of confidence Donald Trump has.

And that's why today he flew to Davos to explain to Europe why America should own Greenland.

That's right, it's huge, undeveloped in a strategic location.

It's like if your grandma had a Manhattan apartment she bought in 1950.

Once she dies in it, you're gonna push her down the trash chute and live like a king.

It all sounds great, but I do have one problem.

We already have a treaty with Denmark that lets us build as many military bases in Greenland as necessary.

I don't know why we need to own Greenland to defend it.

But I guess I get what he means, because you do care less about things when they're not yours.

Like, a parent will do anything to protect their kids, but if I'm babysitting... You know what I mean?

Like, I'll give it a good college try, but at the end of the day, he don't look like me, all right?

But look, it really doesn't matter why Trump wants something.

The point is he wants Greenland.

And you can tell because his focus is 100% on Greenland.

Okay, anyone can slip up, all right?

Obviously, he doesn't mean Iceland.

He's not gonna make that mistake three times in as many sentences.

I'm just glad we got rid of the last guy whose brain didn't work.

But you know what?