Ken Rideout

And like two days later, I had a job making twice as much money.

And now I had, he's my client.

So that's when my career just went through the roof.

Like I went from making 40 grand when I slapped the guy to 80 grand the next week, which to me was a million.

Yep.

And then within a year, I was making a million dollars just like a drunk sailor.

And I mean, I was flying on the Concorde back and forth to London for Canter.

I ran all of European and Asian commodity sales and trading, which in that business on a trading desk, we were inter-dealer brokers.

So we were brokering trades between banks and utilities.

so you can make a lot of money but you're on the bottom of the totem pole in terms of wall street prestige so in my mind and this is how i've like kind of done my career everything in my career and racing i'd always look what's the next level up like what do i have to do to get to the next level because this is a good job but this isn't a good career if i lose two clients no one's giving you another client there's and there's only so many traders so

The anxiety of dealing with that pressure and the anxiety of thinking, oh my God, I'm making so much money.

What if I lose this money?

And the anxiety of having it and losing it was a thousand times worse than never having it because I never had, I didn't know.

What it was like to just spend money and not think about it.

And I had an ankle surgery in New York when I was around 30.

And from 30 to 40, once I took those drugs, I was like, no more anxiety, no more imposter syndrome, fraud complex.

I was just confident.

Yeah.

Well, the drugs gave me this false sense of security.

They made me think that I had all the charisma in the world.