Kristen Schaal
speaker
730 appearances
5 recordings
4 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard 21 Jun
Kristen Schaal’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 2 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Right? Shit on the floor.
Wow.
It was a nightmare.
There is in a real way.
Yeah. Just go for it.
Oh, exactly.
Okay. Kathleen Turner.
Right.
Right?
Oh, my God. Oh, I know.
Thunder Pants.
Wenn du...
I'm a mom of three children and to have innocent little 12-year-old girls be forced to have a government injection Oh, Advantage Bachmann! Und sie wird das Advantage zurückgeben. In 3, 2, 1. There's a woman who came up crying to me tonight after the debate. She said her daughter was given that vaccine. She told me her daughter suffered mental retardation as a result of that vaccine.
Well, John, when a man loves a woman very much, he gives her a special close hug with his penis. It's called ****. That's the street term.
Okay. When two people who love each other ****. You can get an STD called the Human Papilloma Virus. In women, HPV has been proven to cause cervical cancer. Fortunately now, there's a vaccine called Gardasil that prevents HPV. Which is good, because one in two sexually active people will get HPV in their lifetime. And I don't have it, so... Don't worry, John, I said sexually active.
You were scared for a minute. So cute. I was a little scared.
Well, it's not really that strange. In some ways it's a regional issue. Minnesota doesn't have to worry about HPV as much because they wear so many layers. Finding genitals is next to impossible. Take it from someone who wages at the St. Paul Hooters, okay? But I'm willing to overlook Congresswoman Bachmann's regional bias because she's the last female candidate in this race.
That's why I printed up 6,000 Bachmann from my cold dead vagina bumper stickers.
They're lady nuts and I happen to like them.
Showing 701–720 of 730 · page 36 of 37
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