Kute Blackson
speaker
130 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Nov 2024
Kute Blackson’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And that's the pain. Because... When you negotiate with life and negotiate your destiny, to me, that is already living dead. And so there reaches a point in that negotiation phase where we begin to realize, no matter how much I negotiate, it's not changing. I am what I am. I'm an alcoholic. My partner is what they are. This is the situation. It is what it is.
And so now we start getting into reality. That is a necessary phase. What helps in this phase to really move into reality is the willingness to tell the truth. One of the things that keeps us stuck from truly surrendering are all the lies that we tell ourselves. We stay in relationships that we know aren't right for whatever the reason.
We work jobs that we know is not the true expression of our soul's purpose. Out of fear, out of safety, out of comfort, kills us inside. And so to me, there is no real surrender. There is no real healing. There is no true transformation without the truth. The truth will set us free. To me, truth is real spiritual practice. Truth is real therapy. Truth is real yoga.
If we're willing to tell the truth, your entire life will begin transforming. So the question number one to start asking in this phase of acceptance is, what lies am I telling myself? To change reality, you have to see reality for what it is. See it for what it is, accept it for what it is, be with it as it is exactly. Not as you want it to be, not as it could be. This is what it is.
I have an alcohol problem. This is what it is. I'm in an abusive, toxic relationship. This is what it is. I hate my job. No judgment, reality. The truth will set you free. So what lies am I telling myself? Step one. Sometimes we're afraid to tell ourselves the truth. Because we're afraid, oh shit, if I tell myself the truth, what's the consequence?
And so the ego, in its sneakiness, starts playing a game of confusion. Well, I'm not really sure if this relationship is right. I don't know. Maybe he can, maybe she can, maybe. We damn well know it's not right, you know? And the moment we break up, I've had this experience where I was like, is she right? Is she the one?
The moment I broke up, I told my best friend, I knew that was never going to work. My best friend asked me, well, when did you know? Literally, I remember there was a relationship I had. Literally, I met this woman in the parking lot. My intuition said, no. Stay, no. It was very subtle. And sure enough, I went on a date. We ended up in a relationship. It was the disaster. And
I knew, I knew, you know, I knew there's a part of us that knows everything deep down because at the deepest level, we're connected to everything. And so the ego plays this game of confusion. And so we have to look at what lies am I telling myself? What am I pretending to not know? But when we ask ourselves the question around truth, you have to want the truth more than you want what you have.
You have to want the truth more than you want what you think you want to real freedom. isn't free. It requires that you let go of what's no longer aligned, what's no longer working. And that's where the next level of our lives, to go to the real next level, real level of super achieving. Like to me, Mandela was a super achiever. That was not a life that you could have strategized and planned.
That's like true super human achievement. In surrender, that's what's possible beyond your imagination, beyond what you can imagine for yourself. And so we have to be willing to just acknowledge the truth. And I tell people, be willing to actually take the pressure off of yourself from having to take any action. Take the pressure off. You don't have to take any action, but just tell the truth.
Because sometimes the fear of taking action clouds our judgment, the ego's judgment, and we pretend to not know. So we say, okay, I don't have to take action. What does that mean? I hate my job. You don't have to leave. Maybe you have kids and do this. I hate my job. Let that begin marinating. It will start a process inside.
I'm no longer in love with my partner, with my wife, with my husband, with my boyfriend. You don't have to break up. Just let the truth marinate. It will begin a process. And so what lies about telling myself, what am I pretending to not know? And what is the pain? What is the cost? of the lie I'm telling myself. When we tell ourselves a lie, we betray our truth.
There is a cost and we will feel pain. It's meant to be painful when we lie to ourselves. It's not meant to feel good. So I say the pain is a blessing. The pain is a signal. The pain is feedback that we're not living in alignment. What we tend to do as human beings is we distract ourselves from the pain.
We sex it away, drink it away, smoke it away, you know, social media it away, work it away, you know, travel it away, shop it away so that we don't have to feel the pain. And that just perpetuates the dynamic even more. And so thirdly, I tell people, feel the pain of the misalignment. Not wallow in it, but just feel it. Don't deny it. Just breathe it and feel it. That starts to process inside.
So now we're in acceptance. Okay. This is what it is. This is the situation. This is what's going on. This is who my partner is. This is who my father is. This is who my kid is. Acceptance. The next phase, people think, oh, after acceptance, what now? A lot of people stay stuck in acceptance. But acceptance... isn't surrender.
Surrender, real surrender is like, you can be in acceptance, like, okay, this is who my partner is. This is who my husband is. I don't like who he is. I'm a little pissed off that he's that way. I feel like, I feel it's unfair and I'm going to hold back my love until they change, but I'm not going to leave, but I accept that this is what they are. All right.
And so sometimes we're like, I'm not playing, but I'm going to be on the field. And, you know, that's a form of acceptance, a toleration, shall I say. True surrender is the open-hearted participation with the process of life. like when you roll your sleeves up and say, okay, it's raining outside. It sucks that it's raining.
I want it to go out with my kid, but let's go out and dance in the rain or let's invite the family in for a dinner and into my dinner at home and play games together and connect as a family. And like, let's make the best of this experience and use this experience rather than be used by this experience.
And so surrender is the open-hearted participation to the process of life that's happening, where it requires two things, the belief and understanding that life is always working for your highest good, even if you can't see it right now. That's number one. Number two, the spiritual understanding that you and I, we are souls. We are souls having a human experience.
And as souls having a human experience, we incarnate into this human experience in order to learn, to grow, to evolve. That life is a school for your soul's evolution. And every experience in life, bad, challenging, difficult, heartbreak, divorce, betrayal, everything is part of the curriculum.
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