Lindsey Metselaar
speaker
90 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Nov 2024
Lindsey Metselaar’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
thing like I might bring it up to say or like if I were a guy bring it up to say like therapy has been so amazing for me made me realize like that my career wasn't the best for me now I'm in this great career as opposed to being like therapy made me realize that like I really struggled as a kid and like dating has been really hard for me.
It's like you want to just bring that positivity into the date because people are expecting to leave in a good mood from a date, not like being brought down.
Like that's a good frame. Yeah. Focusing on the lesson, focusing on the takeaway is amazing.
Exactly. Yeah, no, I, I think that's great. And like vulnerability shows maturity and shows that like you are ready to find that connection.
I think most men lean towards too logical and I forgot where I was when I learned this but I remember I was in some sort of like WeWork seminar a long time ago and we were being taught about listening and how men listen and how women listen and it was like men usually listen to fix the problem
Whereas men, sorry, whereas women listen to like be empathetic towards the problem and like hear you and, you know, commiserate or whatnot. And that kind of relates to dating. It's like men lean towards like what makes sense of this. And women tend to lean towards like, what am I feeling about this? And I think that both men and women need to take a page from the other person's book.
And so men, I think, need to stop being as logical when it comes to dating. And I actually just had a situation like this. I do like this, ask me anything on Fridays on my Instagram. And someone had asked me how Steven, how my husband knew I was the one and when. And I asked him to answer for me. I was like, send me like a little blurb of, you know, how you knew I was one and I will share it.
And I'm actually going to pull it up because he... He was so logical in his first answer that I was cringing from it. I was like, you need to try again, right? His first answer was, I wouldn't say it hit me in a single moment. It was more of a series of moments together over a period of time.
With each stage of our relationship, my affection for you grew to a place where I loved you an insane amount and I knew I'd found a partner with whom I could squeeze the most out of life. Maybe it was a weird combination of adoration and optimism. That was something I hadn't felt slash how I knew. I was like, listen, that is so sweet, but there is like no, that's so robotic.
I was like, there's no like emotion in there. Try again. Yeah.
And he did it again. And he said, and this is so much better, but I'm curious what you think. He said, I was just crazy about you. You were everything I wanted in a partner. There were ups and downs, but the highs were insane and always worth it. I wanted to experience that as long as I could.
Like how much better is that when he leaned into his emotions versus like typing out some sort of first we moved in together. Then I felt it was the next step. You know what I mean?
Totally.
Yes.
Well, I think that if you intend to continue seeing someone and ultimately date them, you need to be texting consistently. You need to text at least once a day. And you need to be, as the man in the situation, initiating most of those texts and you shouldn't be afraid to do that if you're getting a good response every time.
It's very much like just setting the pace for the relationship and you're courting this person and so you should be sending those texts. Um, you should buy this, you know, whatever stage you're dating, you should have like good banter with one another inside jokes. You should not ask for nudes. I think that's a given.
Don't send any unsolicited pictures. Um, but Being, you know, switching up the conversation, sending like different things like a meme or a funny TikTok or, you know, asking her about her day, following up when she says she has a big presentation the next day. How did the presentation go?
you know, thoughtful texts that really show that you care and make her smile and make her day, but not too much like good morning, beautiful. Good night, angel. You know, it doesn't need to be so like that as much as it's just like bringing that fun conversation into her day.
Yeah.
No, never. It's so funny because it's never a good idea to send some long-winded paragraph to anyone you're seeing ever. it's just never a good idea. Like you save that stuff for in person always. And that's another texting tip. It's like, keep it fun, keep it light.
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