Lisa Bilyeu
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
I got that from my dad.
I got it from everybody, every couple that met.
They would turn to Tom and be like, oh my God, you're so lucky.
Yeah, identity is what I call like the velvet handcuffs.
Your wife takes care of everything.
What a great wife.
So I started to identify with being a great wife.
So it makes you feel good, right?
When someone says, oh, you're a great fill in the blank.
But I didn't want to be a stay-at-home wife.
So you're a great stay at home wife.
And so here I am tying my validation to my identity.
Now imagine, I don't want to be a stay at home wife, but they've put great in front of it.
It's like, oh, well, at least I'm good at something, right?
And the identity wasn't even something that I wanted.
Because I didn't believe in myself.
So you can see how your identity can actually trap you.
Again, this is before Quest.
So I don't believe in myself.
And so what I do right now is I reassess what my identity is and if it still aligns with the person I'm trying to become.