Logan Urie
speaker
760 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard 16 Feb
Logan Urie’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Feb 2026 with 1.
Appearances
If you feel like all of your friends are married and you've been to a lot of weddings and now you're going to the baby showers and you feel like you're being left behind, this is an opportunity to really take a step back, look at the patterns of behavior that you have, identify some dating blind spots, and then make a different choice for yourself.
And if you are married or in a relationship, then you probably have someone you love who could really use this advice.
So I have a different answer for that than I would have had a year ago. So my research has mostly focused on millennial and Gen Z dating. And that's really the focus of Hinge. But then a year ago, I shot this TV show that's going to come out soon about daters over 55. And I had some nerves going into it because I was like, oh, I'm not an expert in this type of dating.
But the number one thing that came out of that for me is this idea that dating is a skill. And we're born knowing how to love, but not knowing how to date.
Sure, and some of those people might know how to date, but it's just that there's a limited pool. There's other factors, but I really want it to be empowering for people because I want them to feel like, oh yeah, I do keep choosing men who are not emotionally available. Or I am really hesitant to get vulnerable with people and I could work on that.
So something that I learned by working on this show is the idea that dating is a skill and you can get better at it. And just because you get older doesn't mean you automatically know how to do it. So it's like you don't wake up on your 50th birthday and know how to make a delicious French meal. You don't wake up on your 50th birthday and know how to date.
And so actually just taking this approach of this is hard for me. I've struggled with this. This is an area of my life I haven't figured out, but I can work on it. I hope that for your friend and for other people, that's really empowering because it means it's an area where they can grow.
Sure. So I studied psychology at Harvard, and I'm really interested in how people think and how people make decisions. So at first I applied that in the corporate world, and I worked at Google, and I ran Google's behavioral science team called the Irrational Lab. So that's really understanding who we are and how we make decisions, often in ways that are not in our own best interest.
But then I'd always had this lifelong interest in dating and relationships. And so at a certain point, I said, this is my dream. I'm not getting any younger. And so I quit my corporate job, which was at the time at Airbnb. And I said, I'm just going to give myself a year to see if I can make this into a career. And so I started by being... a coach and working with people one-on-one.
I turned that into research for my book. And what my book does, it takes the best of the behavioral science research, how we make decisions, and the best of the relationship science research, why we love who we love, how relationships work. And I combine the two. And so it's really a relationship book that's focused on the best research and data that's out there.
And then from there, I got my job at Hinge, where I'm the director of relationship science. And I get to do this all day. I get to think about dating, research dating, look at trends in dating, and then talk directly to Hinge users and daters around the world about how to date better.
So the data shows that dating apps really are helping people meet. Since 2017, the number one way that couples meet is online, and that's research from Stanford. Michael J. Rosenfeld is a sociologist there. That being said, of course, this is technology, and people can misuse technology, and I think it really can create some... difficult expectations for people. There's a paradox of choice issue.
And so I would say overall, way more people are meeting because of dating apps. It used to be that you had access to Bill and Belinda down the street or, you know, maybe the person that you worked with. And now you have access to a way larger pool of people. Right. And that's especially helpful if you're in what's called a thin dating market. So we're harder to meet people. And what does that mean?
Thin dating? Yeah, so it's like, it's not about your weight. It's about like the quantity of your pool. And so people over 40, LGBTQ plus folks, and people who live in rural areas, it's like, well, if I'm gay and I live in a small town, how do I know who's also gay and who's single? It's very helpful to be on Hinge to do that.
And so it has a lot of benefits for expanding choice, but then people also do struggle with choice. Got it.
Yeah, so everything you're seeing, I'm seeing as well. One thing that I will point out though is the average age of getting married is around the country more like later 20s. So it makes sense that the people you know in their 30s are married to people who they met on the apps. The people in their 20s will probably be that one day. They're just not there yet.
So I think there are kind of micro differences, but most people in the U.S. do end up getting married. And so that's one thing. But what I'll say is that I do feel like a lot of people are having a hard time right now. And I'm hearing a lot about dating burnout.
And I've just been noticing this from a psychological perspective where multiple people, even in the last week, have told me, I quit dating. I'm taking a break from dating. And when I hear that, I'm like, that's a new phrase that popped up recently. And I like to reflect back on Sex and the City because I think it was such a cultural touch. What's the word? Cultural touch point.
You're going to pick a better word than I am.
So what I notice, I like to look back at Sex and the City because it's obviously pre-apps. And even looking at Girls, which is also mostly pre-apps, I think you can find that people in New York were struggling with dating in their 20s. And so I think there's an interesting thing going on where things that have always been hard about dating, like I didn't hear back from this person.
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