Logan Urie
speaker
760 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard 16 Feb
Logan Urie’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Feb 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Like they're looking for a partner, but you are disqualifying yourself because you don't want to have that conversation with them. And then that was my homework assignment that he did on the dates. And... I feel like this undateable thing is really big because it really goes down to self-love. I don't think I'm lovable. I think there's something wrong with me.
If you found out this thing about me, you would reject me. So I'm not even going to meet you. So you can't reject me. And the flip of that is to say, we all have shit that happened to us. I'm not asking for your permission to be here. I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I don't want you to feel bad for me. I have baggage. You have baggage. Your baggage makes me feel safe.
Yes. So how I would advise people who are 50 plus is the same that I would say to really any dater, which is everyone comes with a set of problems. Choose the set of problems that you can handle. So I think where people get into trouble is where they think, if I keep on dating, if I'm a maximizer, eventually I'll find someone with no problems.
You should switch that to the mindset of what are problems that I can deal with. And so yes, maybe people have more baggage, but there's baggage that you can deal with and baggage that you can't, and you get to choose.
Yes. One thing I do want to say to Jodi and to anyone else who's in this age group is just, I talked about what's harder about dating at this age group, and I think it's true, but I also want to talk about what's easier because I think that can be empowering. So one thing I really found on the show is that there's a greater sense of knowing yourself
I do think that we know ourselves better as we grow up. I'm so much happier in my 30s than I was in my 20s because I'm more comfortable with who I am. I trust myself more. I feel less of a need to get approval from others. So I think that is a beautiful part of wisdom as you get older. There's also less pressure to marry.
And so I think that when you're dating in your 20s and 30s, there's so much pressure of, am I going to raise kids with this person? Is my family going to accept that? Well, guess what? When you're dating in this age group, you're not about to have kids with them. So you can choose someone who you might not have chosen the first time around.
You actually are open to dating different types of people because there's less pressure. I love that.
The first thing that I would do is really reflect on what you want. So you may not want a traditional relationship. There's a big trend of living apart together where you don't merge your households. You don't merge your finances. You can be married or you can be in a relationship, but you don't have to give up your house or your apartment and be open to things working a different way.
Another thing is to really know yourself. So what are my patterns? What have I been doing over and over? What do I want to do differently this time? And really what we've been saying, look in the mirror. Another thing is that societal norms are changing. So this came up on the show, The Later Daters, where I would say to someone, you're following an outdated playbook. Stop being so coy.
Call the guy back. Tell him that you're interested. Like, you are a career businesswoman, but you're in the corner kind of not expressing what you want. Just go after it. And so sort of understand what outdated models you're currently following. I love that.
My advice for everyone and not just for dating is life doesn't happen to you. And if that is your way of thinking about the world, you're really missing out. So the client who says to me, these situationships keep happening and nobody will commit to me. Well, they're not happening to you. You are choosing people who are not ready, who are not emotionally open, who don't want to commit to you.
And then you're saying life is happening to me. That's being in the passenger seat of your love life and your life in general. So get out of the car, move to the driver's seat, take control of your dating life. And that's really how you're going to find and build the relationship of your dreams.
If you are single and you've been single for a long time, take my quiz, find out what your dating tendency is, embrace the fact that you're a hesitator and you need to put yourself out there. Understand that you're a romanticizer and that you're very focused on the we met. Know that you're a maximizer and you're trying to find the perfect person.
Own that, grieve it a little bit, and then make a plan to move past it and really find what you're looking for. I love that.
I usually don't drink caffeine, but I drank some for this and I'm feeling great.
Saved it for Mel.
Yeah.
You don't have to convince me. Whatever date you would have said, I would have said that's the perfect date.
Cool.
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