Priya Parker
speaker
346 appearances
4 recordings
2 series
first heard Jul 2019
last heard 8 Sep
Priya Parker’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Sep 2026 with 1.
Appearances
We're just having one of our scheduled meetings.
And then for the person who feels like they really want to get stuff off their chest all the time, it allows them to have a container where they're not deeply frustrated.
Because, right, if you want to have a fight and your person is like not wanting to, then it adds a second layer, which is like –
We can't even talk about the things that are important.
And so even though that's about a couple, part of why The Art of Fighting is actually about groups and looking at the context of a community is because I think in modern life we actually need to create our own subcultures.
Friends do this, right?
Inside jokes are shorthand for culture, right?
The ways you hang out, the things you call yourself are shorthand for culture.
And so in these longer term friendships, relationships, family life, it's actually over time finding ways, almost like agreements of like, can we have this conversation?
I can say from my experience as a facilitator that
Not necessarily.
I introduced this term, a meter check.
And so a meter check is to actually go in and check to see if there's still actually electricity in the lamp.
And so if somebody has done something to you and you're not totally sure if I need to go and fight about it, like get a meter check, meaning ask someone else who you respect, who you love, not in a gossipy way to be like, hey, like this happened.
What do you think?
Absolutely.
A wonderful book on this is called Siblings Without Rivalry.
And in the prologue of this book, the authors write something like, your job is not to make your children best friends.
Your job is to help teach them how to build a bridge between the islands of their different identities.
So that even after they leave your home, your house, they know at any point in their life, they always know, like, the path to each other.
Showing 161–180 of 346 · page 9 of 18
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