Sarah Bays

speaker

910 appearances 2 recordings 1 series first heard Jun 2026 last heard 26 Jun

Sarah Bays’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 2 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 2.

Appearances

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But Are You Happy? · Why You Don't Trust Anyone Anymore (And How To Change That) · 26 Jun 2026 podcast

giving sort of surface answers or there's things that I'm like, well, not going to talk about that.

Don't go there, you know, because even if you're very good at kind of masking and hiding that the other person is going to pick up on it, that there is sort of like an end point to how far you're willing to go.

And that's OK.

Like, you don't have to be giving everything.

immediately but if it doesn't change over time that's where it's like you are going to impede your ability to connect with this person to make something deep and foundational but I do also think that it can depend on the other person because if the other person is also like that

let's say if you've got two hurt people coming together that are very guarded, it does become one of those kind of those avoidant relationships where we're surface level, we don't go too deep, we don't know that much about each other's past.

You know, I've got some couples that come in who –

basically don't speak about previous relationships and I just think oh my goodness you know how much gold there is in there like we need to we need to we don't need to know like the ins and outs and every single detail but just what are some of the experiences that your partner has had in life that would shape them that's important for you to know that's a big learning piece for both of you

Yeah.

But again, this isn't something that needs to be done right away.

But over time, it should be building blocks into how much vulnerability that I get, I give and also that I should be getting.

I would say don't rush yourself.

Don't judge yourself.

It's okay to have good days and bad days in it.

You know, I think.

it's not a linear thing like with anything it is you know some moments I feel like yes I can let them in again you know and then other moments it's like absolutely not oh my god what if they hurt me again so you know being able to just be kind to yourself as you go in the ups and downs but just keep I think it's keeping the aim of what you're actually looking for at the head there where it's like

I'm looking for my ability to keep being open and honest about how I'm feeling and if I'm feeling insecure or if I'm worried that they're doing something to me again, being able to communicate it.

Being able to regulate myself so that I don't keep putting my fears onto the other person.

I regulate it.

I communicate it.

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