Sarah Bays

speaker

910 appearances 2 recordings 1 series first heard Jun 2026 last heard 26 Jun

Sarah Bays’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 2 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 2.

Appearances

newest first · ▶ plays the moment

But Are You Happy? · Why You Don't Trust Anyone Anymore (And How To Change That) · 26 Jun 2026 podcast

And then the third one is what am I seeing from them?

How do I reassure myself or just keep aware of whether they are pulling their part?

Are they consistently showing that behavior change?

Are they being defensive?

Are they being workable?

Are they willing to do therapy or make some changes to ensure that this isn't going to happen again?

And have they looked at the actual root of the problem?

And just reassure and remind yourself with that as you kind of keep working through your own sort of up and down with it.

This is something that can be make or break for a lot of trust rebuilding situations, because, of course, it's important to know enough detail that you feel that you have a clear understanding of exactly what the betrayal was, like in terms of, you know, that's how we categorize in our brains.

How bad was it?

Was it this level of bad?

Did they do this?

Did they do that?

Like, or was it just this?

You know, so that's how our brain tries to categorize.

So we do get into this kind of thing of needing to know, particularly when we're very anxious about being heard again.

Sometimes people go into this like detective mode, I call it, where they just like have to get all the clues and all the details and, and it.

it can become a bit of a vicious cycle where it's never enough um and then it's like oh tell me again so what happened after you texted her and then at what time did she write back and then this happened but hang on but last time you said this and like so it can become um this kind of like

digging operation for more and it's an attempt to self-soothe but it actually just keeps you really stuck and it can keep those wounded feelings coming back and the other person is probably you know really hopefully trying to rebuild the trust so they're trying to be really honest and open but

It gets to a point where you're actually not getting anything helpful for the repair and you know already enough of the bad stuff that it's not like there's anything extra bomb that you're going to get dropped.

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