Sarah Bays

speaker

910 appearances 2 recordings 1 series first heard Jun 2026 last heard 26 Jun

Sarah Bays’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 2 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 2.

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But Are You Happy? · Why You Don't Trust Anyone Anymore (And How To Change That) · 26 Jun 2026 podcast

So yeah, or if I do want to forgive, what's behind my forgiveness?

Is it because I don't like this uncomfortable feeling?

Is it that I just want everything to be okay again?

Or do I actually value and care for this relationship enough that I, and I, and that there's enough in it that I see the other person is willing and actively doing the things they need to, to change that tells me, okay, I'll, I'll forgive here.

yeah and that forgiveness equaling condoning is a big misconception where but if i forgive them am i telling them that that's okay and that they could do it again or that it wasn't that bad or that i'll stay if they do it again and and that's very much conflating two very different things you know i can choose to move on from something without agreeing that that was an okay thing to have done yeah totally

It's definitely more internal, which then...

indicates what type of conversations you're then going to have.

So it informs rather.

So it informs the type of conversations that you're going to have with that person after you've done your own internal kind of, you know, little brains trust meeting around it.

And, you know, the heart and the brain have to get together a little bit.

And the nervous system plays a big part as well, because I think that this is what gets when the nervous system has been particularly shocked.

it can get in the way of being able to think clearly yeah about what i want to do here so it does require some time actually before you can get into that real clear space of what would forgiveness mean to me does this apply here is this a situation where i feel like i can forgive yeah um

Sometimes people try to forgive and I don't think that they're able to.

Yeah.

And that's, you know, that's the reality is that sometimes we are not able to forgive something.

And if we keep on staying in that relationship but not forgiving, it can become quite difficult.

um it can become abusive in in bad situations because we're sort of you know we're not treating someone with respect anymore when you know if i've lost complete respect for you i feel really hurt and angry by you and i just can't get over it staying in relationship with you would not be nice not nice for me but also not nice for you like walking on eggshells in a way you don't know yeah yeah like i wouldn't be showing up as the person i want to show up in that relationship

And I'm sure the other person is really not going to be enjoying how I'm treating them if I'm still feeling that way about them.

So sometimes even knowing when to kind of call it is important rather than it's like sort of beating a dead horse at times.

Yeah.

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