Simon Harris

We're delivering renewables, even if it's swallowed up by a data centre.

And it's not like anyone was really using Offaly for anything anyway.

And now we can focus on the surplus in my department.

Sorry, now, it's not your department and it's not your surplus, if you even know what that is.

How dare you?

My department explained.

It's like when you find a tenner in a coat, except it's a few billion and everyone's arguing over who actually gets to wear the coat home.

Yes, well, look, nothing is more important than putting our best foot forward for the diplomats coming over for the European Union presidency.

And in order to stop the tractor trolls embarrassing us in front of them...

We're spreading money at Big Agri like it's slurry being sown on... Sorry, I don't know what slurry is.

Look, the point is this.

Everything hinges on our presidency of the EU when I become Mr Presidency, His Excellency of Europe.

I'm not going to call you that.

It's going to be savage.

So much bureaucracy.

The EU is like the civil service on steroids.

Well, the opposite.

The civil service on benzos.

Does my frown look good in navy?

Plus, the EU presidency lands in July when we're on holiday, so basically the first two months are going to be a DOS period.