Tamsen Fadal

I was waiting for a future that was never going to arrive.

And it took me years to figure that out.

And I watched it happen with countless women when I was doing the matchmaking business.

Smart, beautiful, successful, accomplished women convincing themselves to hold on just a little bit longer because of what might be possible instead of paying attention to the truth right in front of them.

Here's the thing.

Potential is really, really seductive in all aspects of our lives.

It can keep you hooked because it gives you that hope.

We all want hope, right?

Here's the hard truth.

You are not dating the version of him that might exist one day, as long as you're perfect.

You're dating the man sitting across from you right now.

And who he is today, I promise you, is who he really is.

So here's how I want you to break the pattern.

Number one, ask the forever question.

It's the simplest way to get honest with yourself if nothing else works.

Here's the question.

If nothing about him ever changes, could I build my life with him just like he is today?

Nothing, nothing changes.

Not who he might be after therapy, not who he could be if he grew up, but who he is right now.

If the answer is no, then you are not with that right person.