Tanya Coons
speaker
3,654 appearances
23 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2016
last heard Aug 2022
Tanya Coons’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsNo recordings in the last 12 months.Older appearances are listed below; set an alert to hear about the next one.
Appearances
Right.
matched
Mm-hmm.
matched
Um and that that stuff sort of gets us feeling sorry for ourselves and blaming our partner, but it doesn't get to the the cause, uh the root of the problem.
matched
It doesn't get to address whatever's happening that's upset us.
matched
It doesn't get to address the feelings that we might be having when we're upset by certain behaviours, be it reasonable or not reasonable.
matched
Um, yeah, what uh put it back on, put it back to the partner saying, Hey, I'm bringing I'm bringing something up and it feels like you're being very defensive right now
matched
I'm wondering what it's like for you.
matched
So bring your curiosity.
matched
There are three words that I coach people in that will get you through any situation in your relationships and in life.
matched
And they are curiosity, kindness and generosity.
matched
And I know it's pretty hard to be generous when someone's being defensive and throwing our stuff back on us.
matched
But bring bring our curiosity.
matched
So um
matched
I'm noticing that you're not really listening to what I have to say or that you're throwing it back at me.
matched
I'm wondering if you understand how I feel.
matched
I'm wondering what's happening for you, that it's difficult to listen to this.
matched
Um that that sort of stuff.
matched
So y and you want to be kind and generous to their response as well.
matched
Yeah.
matched
But it is kind of taking I mean, I know it's very, very frustrating for someone to throw things back defensively and a lot of us are defensive in arguments.
matched
Showing 941–960 of 3,654 · page 48 of 183
← Previous
Next →