Theo Padnos

And I tossed my life away for that stupid fantasy. And I was angry at myself. But then they kept abasing me. I hadn't changed my underwear in six months. No brushing your teeth. My clothes were full of lice. I was just filthy. And I was ashamed. It's like sexual abuse in the sense that you go into a dark place. There's all these men. Maybe they are enjoying it to some extent. And

And I tossed my life away for that stupid fantasy. And I was angry at myself. But then they kept abasing me. I hadn't changed my underwear in six months. No brushing your teeth. My clothes were full of lice. I was just filthy. And I was ashamed. It's like sexual abuse in the sense that you go into a dark place. There's all these men. Maybe they are enjoying it to some extent. And

And I tossed my life away for that stupid fantasy. And I was angry at myself. But then they kept abasing me. I hadn't changed my underwear in six months. No brushing your teeth. My clothes were full of lice. I was just filthy. And I was ashamed. It's like sexual abuse in the sense that you go into a dark place. There's all these men. Maybe they are enjoying it to some extent. And

they kind of know it's wrong too. What made you think that?

they kind of know it's wrong too. What made you think that?

they kind of know it's wrong too. What made you think that?

Because the next morning when they come to see you, they're a little bit sheepish. They're like, we did that to you. They see the blood, they see the bruises, and they go, wow, what happened? They didn't understand why they were doing what they had done. And when I would see them, like our relationships after the torture, it would improve.

Because the next morning when they come to see you, they're a little bit sheepish. They're like, we did that to you. They see the blood, they see the bruises, and they go, wow, what happened? They didn't understand why they were doing what they had done. And when I would see them, like our relationships after the torture, it would improve.

Because the next morning when they come to see you, they're a little bit sheepish. They're like, we did that to you. They see the blood, they see the bruises, and they go, wow, what happened? They didn't understand why they were doing what they had done. And when I would see them, like our relationships after the torture, it would improve.

And then I would sometimes remind them, like, they were all in masks. And I was in a blindfold. Which is the name of your book. Yeah. When they were doing this torture, theoretically, I didn't know which dudes they were, but I did.

And then I would sometimes remind them, like, they were all in masks. And I was in a blindfold. Which is the name of your book. Yeah. When they were doing this torture, theoretically, I didn't know which dudes they were, but I did.

And then I would sometimes remind them, like, they were all in masks. And I was in a blindfold. Which is the name of your book. Yeah. When they were doing this torture, theoretically, I didn't know which dudes they were, but I did.

So a week or two later, I'd go, I know that you were in there, dude. I know who you are. And they were sheepish and embarrassed.

So a week or two later, I'd go, I know that you were in there, dude. I know who you are. And they were sheepish and embarrassed.

So a week or two later, I'd go, I know that you were in there, dude. I know who you are. And they were sheepish and embarrassed.

No, but some of the guys that were trying to have a good relationship with me, they would bring me food every day. Those guys, during the torture, they would be masked. But when they brought me food, they're like, hey, friend, how you doing?

No, but some of the guys that were trying to have a good relationship with me, they would bring me food every day. Those guys, during the torture, they would be masked. But when they brought me food, they're like, hey, friend, how you doing?

No, but some of the guys that were trying to have a good relationship with me, they would bring me food every day. Those guys, during the torture, they would be masked. But when they brought me food, they're like, hey, friend, how you doing?

Thinking I didn't know. I didn't know. And I would remind them and they'd be like, oh, well, oh, well. Anyway, the thing you asked me, like, what is the darkest place? And at the time I was like, I can never tell anybody that the shameful thing happened to me, that they brought me to this abject condition that I submitted myself.

Thinking I didn't know. I didn't know. And I would remind them and they'd be like, oh, well, oh, well. Anyway, the thing you asked me, like, what is the darkest place? And at the time I was like, I can never tell anybody that the shameful thing happened to me, that they brought me to this abject condition that I submitted myself.