Tina Payne Bryson
speaker
848 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2020
last heard May 2020
Tina Payne Bryson’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
That if I have a need
someone will see it and show up for me.
Someone will see it and respond in a fairly quickly and fairly sensitively way, right?
So someone will show up for me.
And what's so powerful about this secure, this fourth S.
Is that when when the brain wires to expect that in relationships, you know, just like when you touch an us an a hot oven.
Um and you pull your hand away, your brain
creates a memory or a mental model that says, when you touch hot things, it can be painful.
Don't do that.
Our brains are creating these mental models or these memories for what relationships are like.
So
And the more insecure forms of attachment and we don't have time to go into those in deep ways.
All of us can have experiences where our brain wires to say, if I have a need, I'm on my own.
No one's gonna really help me.
They don't wanna hear about my feelings or emotions or my struggles.
I live in an emotional desert and my parents take care of my physical needs, but they don't respond well.
when I share needs or thoughts or feelings.
So that's called a dismiss dismissing avoidant pattern of attachment.
Or another insecure pattern called um anxious ambivalent or preoccupied.
is where the kids' brain wires to say, if I have a need, sometimes my caregiver will show up for me, but other times they won't at all because they're so consumed in their own need and their own drama.
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