Vanessa Marin

I mean, read the room, you know, if your partner's like in the middle of doing a ton of things or obviously really stressed out and are a bad mood, probably that's not going to be the best time to like, Hey babe, what's your favorite sexual memory with me?

So maybe like more a quiet time, like maybe before bed between the two of you or, you know, if you're out on a walk together or something like that.

Connection.

Connection is the second conversation.

So we like to think of physical and emotional intimacy as two sides of the same coin.

A lot of people were surprised to see that, oh, one of the five conversations is about emotional intimacy.

I thought this book was about sex.

But we really think that physical and emotional intimacy are just deeply entwined.

And this can be an issue for a lot of couples.

We've found...

People tend to fall into one of two camps.

You either want to feel emotionally connected before you have sex, or sex for you is a way that opens up emotional connection.

That's how you feel the most connected to your partner.

Do you have a sense of what type you might be?

Do you like to feel connected beforehand, or is sex a way that you feel the most connected?

Yeah, that's pretty typical for men.

But Xander and I are actually the reverse of like the typical gender dynamic.

I like sex as a way of opening up connection too.

So this is another way that men and women really misunderstand each other because like I said, most people tend to fall into the woman's the one who wants to feel emotionally connected before sex, but the man is the one who feels more connected through sex.

And so it can lead to this standoff where the classic fight is, you know, the woman will say, like, well, why would I want to have sex with you right now?