Vanessa Marin

So this conversation helps you create that foundation of just getting comfortable saying the words so you can talk about, hey, what do we want to do for sex tonight the same way that you might talk about what we want to have for dinner tonight, right?

So one of the starting points that we give is to start talking about sex in just a positive way.

So this is not the time to make any complaints.

There's no criticism.

There's no trying to solve any problems, none of that.

It's literally just getting comfortable saying the words out loud.

So one of my favorite conversation openers is to ask, like, what are some of your favorite sexual memories with me?

Just that.

So, you know, ask your partner to share a memory.

If you're worried about them, you know, feeling nervous, you can go first and share one of yours.

So I like saying something like, you know, it just randomly popped into my head the other day, that trip that we took to Mexico on our anniversary, you know, that time we barely left the hotel room.

It was just a fun little memory that I thought of.

Or you can even say you had a dream about it.

Oh, you know what I had a dream about last night?

That, you know, da-da-da.

So you're just sharing it in a positive way and just leave it there.

Don't go into, oh, what happened to us?

We haven't done that in a long time.

Just leave it there.

Have a positive conversation.