Vanessa Marin

Yeah, when I say the phrase, if your wife were to say, I want us to feel more emotionally intimate,

That sounds like a lot of work.

Yeah.

Okay, so yeah.

Yeah, I got to do this every time.

It's like, you know, there's only so much time we have in the day and I have to do this whole thing every time.

Yeah, so it sounds overwhelming, right?

So that's what Xander really helped me understand about men.

It feels overwhelming for us and we don't know what to do.

And I think there's a lot of, like he shared with me, sometimes I feel kind of embarrassed about that.

Like, I don't know, I'm not that classic, like,

buy you flowers and write you poems kind of guy.

So I kind of feel like I don't even know how to do this.

And that feels a little bit embarrassing.

So what I realized in talking to women is, sure, flowers are nice.

Planning a date night, those things are nice.

But really what women are looking for is we just want to know that you're interested in us.

Exactly.

We just want to know that you're interested in us and getting to know us and who we are and what our experience is like.

You know, so many women say, like, it feels like all day my husband just ignores me.