Vanessa Marin

It's fine.

You don't have to.

Go ahead.

You know, so it's like men are trying to give us a gift and we are pushing it away.

because it feels easier.

I mean, I faked a lot of orgasms in my life and there were a lot of reasons for it.

So sometimes it was, primarily it was, I didn't know what I needed.

And so it felt embarrassing.

I felt like, I don't know what to tell a partner.

I don't know how to instruct him.

I might as well just fake it instead of making him fumble around and neither of us really knows what we're doing.

So, I mean, that was the primary reason, but sometimes it was just, I just want sex to be over.

I'm ready for it to be done.

A lot of times it was, I want him to feel like he's done a good job.

I want him to get to have that experience of like, oh, I made her feel so good.

I made her orgasm.

You know, I was thinking so much more about my partner's experience and their pleasure than my own experience.

And, yeah, that's what so many of us women are socialized to do.

It's more important for him to have a good experience, more important to pay attention to him and make sure he feels good and his ego is protected and we can sacrifice ourselves.

And so I really want women to stop doing that for ourselves and to recognize that men don't want us to be doing that either.